Cooking Puns

  • Baker Spell

    bakerHow could a baker not know how flower is spelt?

  • Coffee Pun 1

    couple coffeeA man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.

    The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."

    The husband said, "Yes, but you are in charge of cooking around here so you should do it because that is your job. I can just wait for my coffee."

    Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should make the coffee."

    Husband replies, "I can't believe that. Show me."

    So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says...


  • Cookie Cutter House

    gingerbread family"I just don't want to live in a cookie cutter house."
    - Gingerbread family

  • Cooking Pun

    chefA rare delicacy indeed is sautéed sloth.

    Using the middle toe of the great Australian three-toed sloth, the only edible part of the creature, the careful chef de-bones it, pounds it as with veal, and sautés it briefly over a hot flame with shallots, carrot circles, and the faintest touch of Tabasco. Prepared in this fashion, sloth is an excellent main course, not unlike alligator in texture and taste.

    Many people are under the false impression that sloth does not make a good meal, but this is because they've eaten it improperly prepared. It can only be sautéed, a fact unappreciated in culinary circles.

    Too many cooks broil the sloth.

  • Cooking Spice

    mealWilliam Tell was not only a great patriot and a great archer, he was also a great cook.

    One day, after he had prepared a new dish for his friends, he said, "I think there is one or more spices missing. What do you think?"

    Their answer was, "Only thyme, Will Tell!"

  • Doughboy

    Pillsbury Doughboy PunThe Pillsbury Doughboy is my my roll model.

  • Food Coloring

    food coloringI went to the doctor this morning because I swallowed some food coloring.

    The doctor said I am okay, but I feel like I dyed a little inside.

  • Get Rid of Margarine

    butter poundIf we got rid of all the margarine, the world would be a butter place.

  • Hamburger Help

    hamburger helperHamburger Helper: It works, but only if the hamburger is ready to accept the fact that it needs help.

  • Handy Engineering Conversions

    girlWhen it comes to Conversion Tables, this one will take the cake!

    - Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter: Eskimo Pi

    - 2000 pounds of Chinese soup: Won ton

    - 1 millionth of a mouthwash: 1 microscope

  • No Bologna

    steakBecoming a vegetarian is a huge "missed steak."

  • Noodlewannabe

    pastaWhat do you call a fake noodle?

    An impasta!

  • Painful Spread

    preservesForbidden fruits create many jams.

  • Popeye Scandal

    olive oilCheap olive oil: gets a lot of bad press.

  • Seabird Sausage

    800px Crested Tern Tasmania editNever thought my butcher would turn a sea bird into sausage: but then he took a tern for the wurst.

  • Tofu for Memory

    vegetablesThis girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

  • Vapor After-Life

    water boil2R.I.P. boiled water; you will be mist.

  • Wok Like a Man

    wokHow's your wok, brother?

    - Stir Fry Accountability Group