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Funny Tombstones

  • Funny Tombstones

    Funny Tombstones*Humorous Headstones*

    Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York:
    Born 1903-Died 1942
    Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down.
    It was.

    In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery:
    Here lies an Atheist
    All dressed up And no place to go.

    In a London, England cemetery:
    Here lies Ann Mann,
    Who lived an old maid
    But died an old Mann.
    Dec.  8, 1767

    In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery:
    Anna Wallace:
    The children of Israel wanted bread,
    And the Lord sent them manna.
    Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife,
    And the Devil sent him Anna.

    In a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery:
    Here lies Johnny Yeast.
    Pardon me For not rising.

    In a Uniontown, Pennsylvania, cemetery:
    Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
    Stepped on the gas
    Instead of the brake.

    In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery:
    Here lays The Kid.
    We planted him raw.
    He was quick on the trigger
    But slow on the draw.

    A lawyer's epitaph in England:
    Sir John Strange.
    Here lies an honest lawyer,
    And that is Strange.

    John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne, England, cemetery:
    Reader, if cash thou art In want of any,
    Dig 6 feet deep;
    And thou wilt find a Penny.

    In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England:
    On the 22nd of June,
    Jonathan Fiddle Went out of tune.

    Anna Hopewell's grave in EnosburgFalls,Vermont:
    Here lies the body of our Anna -
    Done to death by a banana.
    It wasn't the fruit that laid her low,
    But the skin of the thing that made her go.

    On a grave from the 1880s in Nantucket, Massachusetts:
    Under the sod and under the trees,
    Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.
    He is not here, there's only the pod.
    Pease shelled out and went to God.

    In a cemetery in England:
    Remember man, as you walk by,
    As you are now, so once was I.
    As I am now, you soon will be.
    Prepare yourself and follow me.

    To which someone replied by writing on the tombstone:
    To follow you I'll not consent
    Until I know which way you went

    From Boot Hill, in Tombstone, Arizona:
    Here lies Lester Moore
    One slug from a 44
    No Les
    No More

  • Tombstone Epitaphs

    tombstonesHope these old tombstone epitaphs are still funny to you.

    Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York:
    Born 1903-Died 1942
    Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down.
    It was.

    ******************************

    In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery:
    Here lies an Atheist
    All dressed up And no place to go.