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Cemetery Jokes

  • Mail Problems

    cemetaryThanks to Kim Harding for day's real life laugh from her family.

    Dear Pastor Tim,

    This is a true story, My husband's grandmother passed away and for many months afterwards my father-in-law made repeated phone calls to attempt to stop a company from sending mail to the house for his deceased mother.

    In frustration, he finally filled out a change of address card changing her address to the Jefferson Memorial Park where she was laid to rest.

    It worked! No more mailings came to the house.

  • Relativism

    cemetaryAn older woman recently returned from her home town in North Carolina and told a friend they'd spruced up the churchyard cemetery since her last visit several years past. "Lots of new greenery," she said. "And families are together now."

    "All together?" her friend asked, puzzled.

    "Well," the first replied, "years ago they never much worried where they buried someone because everyone was a neighbor anyhow. They'd just dig a grave wherever it seemed to balance things. But they've redone it so people are with their children and grandchildren, instead of scattered."

    The friend was still puzzled. "You mean they exhumed all those people and reburied them?"

    "Oh my, no," was the reply. "We just shifted the headstones. Everyone agrees it looks ever so much nicer."

  • Tombstone Epitaphs

    tombstonesHope these old tombstone epitaphs are still funny to you.

    Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York:
    Born 1903-Died 1942
    Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down.
    It was.

    ******************************

    In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery:
    Here lies an Atheist
    All dressed up And no place to go.