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Kitchen Jokes

  • Cooking Spice

    mealWilliam Tell was not only a great patriot and a great archer, he was also a great cook.

    One day, after he had prepared a new dish for his friends, he said, "I think there is one or more spices missing. What do you think?"

    Their answer was, "Only thyme, Will Tell!"

  • Pepper Advice

    picture of a hot pepperWhen chopping a hot pepper...

    1. Do NOT rub your nose...

    and if you do and it starts to burn...

    2. DON'T put you finger in your nostril to rub it...

    AND IF YOU DO THEN BY ALL MEANS...

    3. DO NOT..."SNORT" WATER UP YOUR NOSE IN AN ATTEMPT TO RINSE THE JUICE
    OUT.

    Please don't ask me how I know...just *trust me*

  • You Are A Bad Cook If…

    chef badYou can find "You Know You Are a Bad Cook When...part 1" here.

    - The last time you tried to make toast the kitchen caught on fire

    - You make tuna noodle broccoli surprise for your family and the surprise is that it glows in the dark!

    - Your homemade bread can be used as a door stop.

  • You Know You Are a Bad Cook When…

    chef bad- You use the smoke alarm as a cooking timer.

    - You consider it a culinary success if the pop-tart stays in one piece.

    - Your dog goes to the neighbors' to eat.

    - Your family buys Alka Seltzer and Kaopectate in bulk.

    - When you barbecue, two of your kids hold water guns and the third stands ready by the phone with 911 on speed-dial.