Health Puns

  • Attention Fords!

    pill bottleIf you leave a bottle of Ritalin inside a Ford Fiesta it will become a Ford Focus.

  • Diet Anticipation

    men angryI just want to be as thin as my patience.

  • Don't Laugh

    man2PMS jokes aren't funny. Period.

  • Dough!

    food cholesteralI didn't mean to gain weight.

    It happened by snaccident.

  • Glancing Blow

    omega3Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me!! Luckily, my injuries were only super fish oil.

  • Handy Engineering Conversions

    girlWhen it comes to Conversion Tables, this one will take the cake!

    - Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter: Eskimo Pi

    - 2000 pounds of Chinese soup: Won ton

    - 1 millionth of a mouthwash: 1 microscope

  • Late Night Resolve

    eyeI will not sleep until I find a cure for my insomnia!

  • Mood Poisoning

    moodYou got mood poisoning?

    It must be something you hate.

  • Passive Exercise

    gymI don't go to the gym; I like for things to work themselves out.

  • Pork Healing

    Pork Healing PunSmoking will kill you...

    Bacon will kill you...

    But, smoking bacon will cure it.

  • Sore Back

    shellHe had a sore back: that's why he was acting so disc hurteous.

  • Transit Rescue

    bus interiorJust take the bus: walk behind a car and you'll get exhausted; walk in front of a car and you'll get tired.