The inventor of throat lozenges has died.
There'll be no coffin at his funeral.
Baby Vaccination Jokes: pretty innocuous.
If you leave a bottle of Ritalin inside a Ford Fiesta it will become a Ford Focus.
I swallowed a dictionary. It gave me thesaurus throat I've ever had.
I just want to be as thin as my patience.
PMS jokes aren't funny. Period.
I didn't mean to gain weight.
It happened by snaccident.
Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me!! Luckily, my injuries were only super fish oil.
When it comes to Conversion Tables, this one will take the cake!
- Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter: Eskimo Pi
- 2000 pounds of Chinese soup: Won ton
- 1 millionth of a mouthwash: 1 microscope
To test my faith, I sometimes look right at the 1% mild and ask, "Wilt thou be made whole??"
I will not sleep until I find a cure for my insomnia!
Vaporizers: Some people haven't the foggiest idea how to use them.
You got mood poisoning?
It must be something you hate.
A psychologist is meeting with a new patient that just happens to be a musical instrument.
Says the patient, "I'm a guitar! I'm a guitar!"
Says the psychologist kindly, "You're a lyre."
I don't go to the gym; I like for things to work themselves out.
Smoking will kill you...
Bacon will kill you...
But, smoking bacon will cure it.
He had a sore back: that's why he was acting so disc hurteous.
Just take the bus: walk behind a car and you'll get exhausted; walk in front of a car and you'll get tired.
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