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Health Puns

  • pill bottleIf you leave a bottle of Ritalin inside a Ford Fiesta it will become a Ford Focus.

  • men angryI just want to be as thin as my patience.

  • man2PMS jokes aren't funny. Period.

  • food cholesteralI didn't mean to gain weight.

    It happened by snaccident.

  • omega3Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me!! Luckily, my injuries were only super fish oil.

  • girlWhen it comes to Conversion Tables, this one will take the cake!

    - Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter: Eskimo Pi

    - 2000 pounds of Chinese soup: Won ton

    - 1 millionth of a mouthwash: 1 microscope

  • eyeI will not sleep until I find a cure for my insomnia!

  • vaporizerVaporizers: Some people haven't the foggiest idea how to use them.

  • moodYou got mood poisoning?

    It must be something you hate.

  • gymI don't go to the gym; I like for things to work themselves out.

  • Pork Healing PunSmoking will kill you...

    Bacon will kill you...

    But, smoking bacon will cure it.

  • shellHe had a sore back: that's why he was acting so disc hurteous.

  • bus interiorJust take the bus: walk behind a car and you'll get exhausted; walk in front of a car and you'll get tired.