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Waiter Jokes

  • coffee cupBill and Doug went into a diner that looked as though it had seen better days.

    As they slid in to a booth, Bill wiped some crumbs from the seat. Then he took a napkin and wiped some moisture from the table. The waitress came over and asked if they wanted some menus.

    "No thanks," said Doug. "I'll just have a cup of black coffee."

    "I'll have black coffee too," Bill said. "And please make sure the cup is clean."

  • chickens"May I take your order?" the waiter asked.

    "Yes, how do you prepare your chickens?"

    "Nothing special, sir," he replied.

    "We just tell them straight out that they're going to die."

  • waiter punI like waiters: they bring a lot to the table.

  • high tea1st customer: I'll have tea.

    2nd customer: Me, too. And be sure the cup is clean!

    (The waiter exits, and then returns after a while.)

    Waiter: Two teas. Which one asked for the clean cup?