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Dog One Liners

  • Oneliner #0963

    police cruiserThe cops came to my door today to say that my dog was chasing someone on a bike, but I told them they had the wrong house because my dog doesn't own a bike!

  • Oneliner #1043

    dog lazy"If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise." - unknown

  • Oneliner #1047

    dog sleeping"In dog years, I'm dead." - Unknown

  • Oneliner #1071

    dog oliver"Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail." -  Unknown

  • Oneliner #1074

    dog5Sixty percent of pit bull attacks occur between tying the bandanna around its neck and putting the sunglasses on its face.

  • Oneliner #1076

    dog6"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful."

     - Ann Landers

  • Oneliner #1084

    dogs"You enter into a certain amount of madness when you marry a person with pets."

    - Nora Ephron

  • Oneliner #1105

    dog8"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face."

    - Ben Williams

  • Oneliner #1108

    dog sleeping "A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down."

    - Robert Benchley

  • Oneliner #1123

    dog sleeping"I loathe people who keep dogs; they are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves."

    - August Strindberg

  • Oneliner #1136

    universityChoose a degree in something you love and you'll never have to work a day in your life, because that field probably isn't hiring.

  • Oneliner #1159

    dog8As I watched the dog chasing his tail, I thought, "Dogs are easily amused;" then I realized I was watching the dog chase his tail.

  • Oneliner 1117

    dog cat"In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him."

    - Dereke Bruce, Taipei, Taiwan