Dog One-liners

  • Great dane and chihuahua"Things that upset a chihuahua may pass virtually unnoticed by a Great Dane."

    - Smiley Blanton

  • police cruiserThe cops came to my door today to say that my dog was chasing someone on a bike, but I told them they had the wrong house because my dog doesn't own a bike!

  • dog lazy"If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise." - unknown

  • dog sleeping"In dog years, I'm dead." - Unknown

  • dog oliver"Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail." -  Unknown

  • dog5Sixty percent of pit bull attacks occur between tying the bandanna around its neck and putting the sunglasses on its face.

  • dog6"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful."

     - Ann Landers

  • dogs"You enter into a certain amount of madness when you marry a person with pets."

    - Nora Ephron

  • dog8"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face."

    - Ben Williams

  • dog sleeping "A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down."

    - Robert Benchley

  • dog cat"In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him."

    - Dereke Bruce, Taipei, Taiwan

  • dog sleeping"I loathe people who keep dogs; they are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves."

    - August Strindberg

  • universityChoose a degree in something you love and you'll never have to work a day in your life, because that field probably isn't hiring.

  • dog8As I watched the dog chasing his tail, I thought, "Dogs are easily amused;" then I realized I was watching the dog chase his tail.

  • dog4"Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in?  I think that's how dogs spend their lives."

    - Sue Murphy

  • dog8They should make an alarm clock that sounds like a dog ready to vomit; nothing makes me jump out of bed faster...

  • dog7Adulthood is like the vet, and we're all the dogs that were excited for the car ride until we realized where we're going.

  • Dog One Liner"No animal should ever jump up on the dining room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation."

    - Fran Lebowitz