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Security Illustrations

  • Airport Security

    Airport metal detectorsOn a business trip, my father approached a security checkpoint at the airport. The National Guard shift was rotating, and a guard, in full uniform, was in line in front of him.

    As with everybody else, the soldier was ordered to go through the metal detector. So, as he did so, he handed his M-16 rifle to security personnel along with other items such as handcuffs and a flashlight.

    Still, the alarm sounded when he walked through. Further inspection revealed a little Swiss army knife inside one of his pockets.

    "Sorry, Sir, but this item is prohibited," security said to the soldier.

    Then, taking the knife away, the airport worker handed him back the M-16.

  • Secret Sin

    locksmithMy friend's father is a locksmith in a resort town.

    Once he saw a group of beach goers park near his shop and dump trash from their car on his property.

    As soon as they were out of sight, the locksmith picked the lock on their car door, put the garbage back inside and re-locked the car.

  • Wacky Warnings

    warning sign clownHere are the top five winning entries in the Wacky Warning Labels contest, sponsored by Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch.

    "Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover."

    On a public toilet: "Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking."

    "Warning: Riders of personal watercraft may suffer injury due to forceful injection of water into body cavities, either by falling into the water or while mounting the craft."

    On an electric router: "This product not intended for use as a dental drill."

    On a novelty rock-garden set (called Popcorn Rock): "Eating rocks may lead to broken teeth."