Food Puns

  • Brought To You by the Letter "S"

    ice cream2Bert: "Say, Ernie, would you like some ice-cream?"

    Ernie: "Sherbert."

  • Cabbage Rule

    cabbageMurphy’s Slaw: If cabbage can go rotten, it will.

  • Canned Email Warning

    computer stressWARNING!! There is an email going around offering processed pork, gelatin and salt in a can.

    If you get this email DO NOT OPEN IT! 

    It is Spam!

  • Cheezie

    boomBreaking News!! Cheese Factory Explosion.

    De brie everywhere.

  • Chip Apology

    chipsSorry I ate all the chips: It was a snaccident.

  • Cookie Cutter House

    gingerbread family"I just don't want to live in a cookie cutter house."
    - Gingerbread family

  • Corn Onions

    This bag of onions will make you cry
    for all the wrong reasons.

    Corn on the Cob in Onion Sacks

  • Crunge

    food lunchMy favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It's called lunch.

  • Dig that Cocoa

    pyramidArchaeologists excavating a pyramid in Egypt have found a mummy covered in chocolate and hazelnuts.

    They believe it to be Pharaoh Rocher.

  • Dough!

    food cholesteralI didn't mean to gain weight.

    It happened by snaccident.

  • Doughboy

    Pillsbury Doughboy PunThe Pillsbury Doughboy is my my roll model.

  • Drive-thru Guy

    mcdonaldsThat guy from the McDonalds drive-thru gives me the shakes.

  • Engineering Fact

    onionsEngineering Fact: An opinion without 3.14 is an onion.

    You'll understand.

  • Escargot Speed

    snail2I took the shell off my racing snail, thinking it would make him run faster; if anything, it made him more sluggish.

  • Fruit Regret

    pineapple"I can't believe I ate that whole pineapple!"

    - said Tom dolefully

  • Glancing Blow

    omega3Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me!! Luckily, my injuries were only super fish oil.

  • Hamburger Help

    hamburger helperHamburger Helper: It works, but only if the hamburger is ready to accept the fact that it needs help.

  • Homage to Fromage

    cheese brieSweet dreams are made of cheese.

    Who am I to dis a brie?

  • Irish Toast

    couple on dateA guy and a girl are having a drink together. The man raises his glass and says, "Here's hoping you're in Heaven ten minutes before the devil knows you're dead!"

    "What's that mean?" asks the girl.

    "That," answers her date, "is an authentic Irish toast."

    "Oh. Well, here's to bread, eggs and cinnamon."

    "Bread, eggs and cinnamon? What's that?"

    The girl says, "That's French toast."

  • Math Coffee

    coffee cupWhen a mathematician tells you he makes a mean cup of coffee, he means average.

  • Missing Digits

    cow3Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?

    Because they lactose.

  • New Diet

    ribsNew Diet: Yeah I still eat ribs... sparingly.

  • No Bologna

    steakBecoming a vegetarian is a huge "missed steak."

  • Noodlewannabe

    pastaWhat do you call a fake noodle?

    An impasta!

  • Oneliner #0973

    weight scale 2I'm allergic to food – I break out in fat.

  • Painful Spread

    preservesForbidden fruits create many jams.

  • Patisserie Solicitation

    bakerySaid the Thesaurus at the bakery, "I'd like a synonym bun!"

  • Perkatory

    coffee cupPerkatory: That awful time spent waiting for the first cup of coffee to be ready.

  • Pirate Veggies

    corn on cobAt the grocery store today we saw cobs of corn "on sale" for $4.00 for 4. A buck an ear? That's piracy!

  • Popeye Scandal

    olive oilCheap olive oil: gets a lot of bad press.

  • Salad Pardner

    saladA question: If you wear cowboy clothes, are you ranch dressing??

  • Sausage Fear

    liverwurst sausageI have a phobia of German sausage.

    I fear the wurst.

  • Science of Soft Drinks

    popI know a lot about pop; I guess you could say I'm a Fizzisist.

  • Seabird Sausage

    800px Crested Tern Tasmania editNever thought my butcher would turn a sea bird into sausage: but then he took a tern for the wurst.

  • Seasonal Dieting

    spring rollsFinally, my winter fat is gone.

    Now all I have are spring rolls.

  • Tofu for Memory

    vegetablesThis girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

  • Two Laws

    A pun about Murphy's Law and Cole's LawYou've heard of Murphy's law right?

    Yes . . .  Why?

    It states that anything that can go wrong will go wrong, but have you heard of Cole's law?

    No . . . .

    It's thinly sliced cabbage

  • Watermelon Arms

    "Get your own watermelon."

    watermelon get your own

  • Wok Like a Man

    wokHow's your wok, brother?

    - Stir Fry Accountability Group

  • Yogurt Aisle

    yogurt greek brands The yogurt aisle is so confusing now: It's all Greek to me.