Decorating Puns

  • living roomIn the room the curtains were drawn: the rest of the furniture was real.

  • woman secretSo grateful somebody invented window blinds or it would be curtains for all of us!

  • balloonsThe price of balloons is going up. They blame it on inflation.

  • beigeThe customer ordering a floral arrangement from my shop was giving me very specific guidelines. "Nothing fragrant," she instructed. "Nothing too tall or too wild. And no bright colors, please. My house is decorated in beige and cream. Here is a wallpaper sample." She handed me a plain square of tan-colored paper.

    "Your name?" I asked.

    "Mrs. Bland," the woman replied.