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Smoking Illustrations

  • Health

    cigaretteJeff is an attendant in a Laundromat. A woman came in, sat near him, and chain smoked cigarette after cigarette. The smoke was bothering him, so he turned on a fan.

    "Could you please point that thing in another direction?" the woman asked.

    "I'm just getting over pneumonia. The last thing I need is a breeze blowing on me."

  • Judgement, Self Righteousness, Assumption

    smoking2A man sees another leaning against the wall of a large building. The second man is puffing away, one cigarette after another.

    The nonsmoker says, "Sir, I couldn't help noticing how you chain-smoke. How many packs do you smoke a day?"

    "Four."

    "How long have you been smoking?"

  • Quiting Smoking

    smokingJohn was visiting a friend in the hospital. He had recently quit smoking and was chewing on an unlit cigar when he got on the elevator. A woman on the elevator said to him with a snarl, "Sir! There's no smoking in here!"

    'I'm not smoking lady," replied John.

    "But you have a cigar in your mouth!" the woman said.

    "Lady," John answered, "I've got Jockey shorts on too, but I'm not riding a horse!"