Smoking Jokes

  • cigaretteJeff is an attendant in a Laundromat. A woman came in, sat near him, and chain smoked cigarette after cigarette. The smoke was bothering him, so he turned on a fan.

    "Could you please point that thing in another direction?" the woman asked.

    "I'm just getting over pneumonia. The last thing I need is a breeze blowing on me."

  • smokingJohn was visiting a friend in the hospital. He had recently quit smoking and was chewing on an unlit cigar when he got on the elevator. A woman on the elevator said to him with a snarl, "Sir! There's no smoking in here!"

    'I'm not smoking lady," replied John.

    "But you have a cigar in your mouth!" the woman said.

    "Lady," John answered, "I've got Jockey shorts on too, but I'm not riding a horse!"