John was visiting a friend in the hospital. He had recently quit smoking and was chewing on an unlit cigar when he got on the elevator. A woman on the elevator said to him with a snarl, "Sir! There's no smoking in here!"
'I'm not smoking lady," replied John.
"But you have a cigar in your mouth!" the woman said.
"Lady," John answered, "I've got Jockey shorts on too, but I'm not riding a horse!"