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Hunting Jokes

  • Alligator Teeth

    alligatorA tourist was admiring the necklace worn by a local Indian.

    "What is it made of?" she asked.

    "Alligator's teeth," the Indian replied.

    "I suppose," she said patronizingly, "that they mean as much to you as pearls do to us."

    "Oh no," he objected.

    "Anybody can open an oyster."

  • Deer Hunting

    deer hunting jokesA group of friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day.

    That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck.

    "Where's Henry?"

    "Henry had a nasty fall and broke both of his legs. He's a couple of miles back up the trail."

    "You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back!?!"

    "A tough call," nodded the hunter, "but I figured no one is going to steal Henry!"

  • Goober Hunters

    trailTwo Goober hunters were dragging their dead deer down a trail back to their car.

    Another hunter approached pulling his along too.

    "Hey, I don't want to tell you what to do, but I can tell you that it's much easier if you drag the deer in the other direction. Then the antlers won't dig into the ground."

    After the third hunter left, the two decided to try it.

    A little while later one hunter said to the other, "You know, that guy was right. This is a lot easier!"

    "Yeah," the other added, "but we're getting farther away from the truck!"

    (Wondering what a Goober is?  The answer is at www.cybersalt.org/policies/what-is-a-goober)

  • Hunting Prayer

    deerThe Wednesday-night church service coincided with the last day of hunting season.

    Our pastor asked who had bagged a deer.

    No one raised a hand.

    Puzzled, the pastor said, "I don't get it. Last Sunday many of you said you were missing because of hunting season. I had the whole congregation pray for your deer."

    One hunter groaned, "Well, it worked. They're all safe."

  • Lost Goober Hunters

    A joke about two hunters lost in the forest.

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one here.

    My uncle Joe and his best buddy, Bubba, went hunting a couple of weeks ago. Somehow they got lost. Uncle Joe reassured his buddy, though.

    "Don't worry. All we have to do is shoot into the air three times, stay where we are, and someone will find us."

    They shot in the air three times, but no one came.

    After a while, they tried it again.

    Still no response.

    When they decided to try once more, Bubba said, "It better work this time. We're down to our last three arrows."

  • Pot-bellied Stove

    cabinAn engineer, a psychologist, and a theologian were hunting in the wilderness of northern Canada. Suddenly, the temperature dropped and a furious snowstorm was upon them. They came across an isolated cabin, far removed from any town. The hunters had heard that the locals in the area were quite hospitable, so they knocked on the door to ask permission to rest.

  • The Pigmy and the Dinosaur

    pygmy and dinosaur jokeA scientist finds evidence of an actual dinosaur, alive and living in the rainforests of South America. He campaigns several universities and succeeds in getting a grant to launch an expedition.

    Several weeks pass and the expedition party stumbles upon a 3 foot tall pigmy standing near a 300 foot long dead dinosaur.

    The scientist approaches the pigmy and exclaims, "Wow!  Did you kill this dinosaur?"

    "Yep!" replied the pigmy.

    "But, it's so big and you're so small!"

    "Yep!", replied the pigmy.

    "How on earth did you kill it?" inquired the scientist.

    "With a club," replied the pigmy.

    "How big is your club?" demanded the scientist.

    The pigmy replied, "Well, there're about 50 of us!"

  • Tough Hunting Call

    a hunter aimsA group of friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day.

    That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck.

    "Where's Henry?"

    "Henry broke his leg really badly. He's a couple of miles back up the trail."

    "You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back!?!"

    "A tough call," nodded the hunter, "but I figured no one is going to steal Henry!"

  • Transit Bait

    bus interiorIn order to catch a bus, one must first learn to think like a bus.