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Goober Jokes

  • Chickens in the Sack

    chickensIf you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one here

    There were two Goobers walking toward each other down the street.

    One Goober was carrying a sack.

    When they met up, the second Goober asked, "Whatcha got in that there sack?"

    The Goober with the sack replied, "Just some chickens."

    The second Goober said, "If I guess how many chickens are in that there sack, can I have one?"

    The first Goober answered, "I'll give ya both of them if you get it right."

    So, the second Goober thought and thought. Finally he guessed. "Five?"

  • Deep Trouble

    puddle roadA man driving his car down a country road was forced to stop before a giant puddle blocking the entire way. Looking to the side of the road, the man noticed a goober leaning on a fence. "Think it's safe to cross?" the man asked.

    "I reckon so," replied the goober.

    Pulling ahead, the mans car was immediately swallowed by the puddle. In fact, it was so deep that he had to roll his window down to swim out and up to the surface. As his head broke the surface the man said to the goober, "I thought you said I could safely drive through this puddle!"

    "Well, shoot!" he relied, scratching his head. "It only comes up chest-high on my ducks!"

    (Wondering what a goober is?  Find out at www.cybersalt.org/policies/what-is-a-goober)

  • Goober 911

    phone handheld 2A couple of Goobers are out in the woods hunting when one of them falls to the ground.  He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are rolled back in his head.  The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911.

    Panic-stricken, he says to the operator, "I think Cletus is dead!  What should I do?"

    The operator, in a calm soothing voice says, "Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."

    There is a silence, then a shot rings out.

    The goober comes back on the line and says, "OK, now what?"

    (Wondering what a goober is? Check out www.cybersalt.org/policies/what-is-a-goober)

  • Goober Celebration

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one at:
    http://www.cybersalt.org/pastor-tim-s-cleanlaugh-site/what-is-a-goober 

    puzzleAn ice cream store employee is standing behind the counter on a typical day, when the door bursts open and in come four exuberant goobers. They come up to the counter, order 10 triple-scoop cones and take their order over and sit down at a large table. Then they begin chanting, "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!"

    Soon, three more goobers arrive, take up their cones and the chanting grows. "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!" Two more goobers show up and soon their voices are joined in raising the roof. "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!"

  • Goober Doubling

    oven temperature guageIf you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one at:
    http://www.cybersalt.org/pastor-tim-s-cleanlaugh-site/what-is-a-goober 

    Mr. & Mrs. Goober have been back from their honeymoon for two weeks when Mr. Goober comes home from work and says that he has invited four of his friends from the office home for dinner on Friday night.

    Mrs. Goober, is a bit apprehensive and asks if she must cook a meal for the four. The husband explains that there will be eight coming because each will bring his wife.

    Since this is their first party, the husband consoles her by saying that all she has to do is get some Chinese food in and perhaps she can bake a cake. This sounds like a good idea, and they sit down and decide what Chinese food to get.

    Friday morning Mrs. Goober calls the office in tears. She explains that the only cake recipe she has will only feed six.

  • Goober Flight Lesson

    helicopter copyA goober went to a flight school, insisting she wanted to learn to fly that day. As all the planes were currently in use, the busy owner agreed to instruct her on how to pilot the helicopter solo by radio.

    He took her out, showed her how to start it and gave her the basics and sent her on her way.

    After she climbed 1000 feet, she radioed in. "I'm doing great! I love it! The view is so beautiful, and I'm starting to get the hang of this."

  • Goober Hunters

    trailTwo Goober hunters were dragging their dead deer down a trail back to their car.

    Another hunter approached pulling his along too.

    "Hey, I don't want to tell you what to do, but I can tell you that it's much easier if you drag the deer in the other direction. Then the antlers won't dig into the ground."

    After the third hunter left, the two decided to try it.

    A little while later one hunter said to the other, "You know, that guy was right. This is a lot easier!"

    "Yeah," the other added, "but we're getting farther away from the truck!"

    (Wondering what a Goober is?  The answer is at www.cybersalt.org/policies/what-is-a-goober)

  • Goober Return

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one here.

    thermosA goober walks up to the return counter at Walmart and says to the clerk, "I'd like to return this thermos."

    "Is it defective?" replies the clerk.

    "Yes," says the goober, "it does not work the way it's supposed to. I was told it would keep hot things hot, and cold things cold and it doesn't do either."

    "What did you put in it?" asks the clerk.

    The goober says, "Two cups of coffee and an ice cream sandwich."

  • How Much Are Your Dogs

    If you are not sure what a Goober is, there is a picture of one here.

    dog2It seems this Goober was wanting a dog for a pet, so he went to the local pet store to buy one.

    He asked the clerk "how much are your dogs?"

    She replied, "They are $10.00 apiece."

    The goober replied, "How much for a whole one?!"

  • Lost Goober Hunters

    A joke about two hunters lost in the forest.

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one here.

    My uncle Joe and his best buddy, Bubba, went hunting a couple of weeks ago. Somehow they got lost. Uncle Joe reassured his buddy, though.

    "Don't worry. All we have to do is shoot into the air three times, stay where we are, and someone will find us."

    They shot in the air three times, but no one came.

    After a while, they tried it again.

    Still no response.

    When they decided to try once more, Bubba said, "It better work this time. We're down to our last three arrows."

  • Saucer Fill-Up

    Picture of a UFOIf you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one at:
    www.cybersalt.org/pastor-tim-s-cleanlaugh-site/what-is-a-goober


    A flying saucer landed at a gas station on a lonely country road. The two space aliens inside seemed completely unconcerned about detection; in fact, the letters "UFO" were emblazoned in big, bold letters on one side of their shiny craft.

    As the station owner stood and gawked in silence, paralyzed with shock, his young goober attendant nonchalantly filled up the tank and waved to the two aliens as they took off.

    "Do you realize what just happened?" the station owner finally uttered.

  • Tiny Rose

    baby feetA tiny sweet baby was born to a goober and his wife.

    They had always dreamed of having a child and naming her for the wife's beloved Aunt Rose.

    But the baby was so tiny and precious, Rose was too much of a name for her.

    They named her Bud instead.