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Sleep One-liners

  • eyeI will not sleep until I find a cure for my insomnia!

  • breakfastI love sleep because it's like a time machine to breakfast.

  • coffee cupA yawn is just a silent scream for coffee.

  • bed copy"If you think women are the weaker sex, try pulling the blankets back to your side."
    – Stuart Turner

  • bedEarly mornings are great for spending time with the family: then they spoil it by waking up.

  • cheeseThe early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

  • bed copyI might wake up early and go running... but I also might win the lottery; the odds are about the same.

  • cat restingThey should make an alarm clock that sounds like a cat getting ready to vomit; NOTHING makes you jump out of bed faster!

  • sleeping inThe amount of sleep required by an average person is "five more minutes."

  • WC FieldsOne Liner Advice: The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

    - W.C. Fields

  • dog8They should make an alarm clock that sounds like a dog ready to vomit; nothing makes me jump out of bed faster...

  • man sleeping"There's a sleeping person; let's go ask it questions," say children everywhere!

  • Insomnia Advice One LinerAdvice #7:

    The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

    - W.C. Fields