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Sleep One Liners

  • Late Night Resolve

    eyeI will not sleep until I find a cure for my insomnia!

  • Oneliner #0968

    breakfastI love sleep because it's like a time machine to breakfast.

  • Oneliner #0976

    coffee cupA yawn is just a silent scream for coffee.

  • Oneliner #0978

    bed copy"If you think women are the weaker sex, try pulling the blankets back to your side."
    – Stuart Turner

  • Oneliner #0980

    bedEarly mornings are great for spending time with the family: then they spoil it by waking up.

  • Oneliner #1059

    cheeseThe early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

  • Oneliner #1139

    bed copyI might wake up early and go running... but I also might win the lottery; the odds are about the same.

  • Oneliner #1152

    cat restingThey should make an alarm clock that sounds like a cat getting ready to vomit; NOTHING makes you jump out of bed faster!

  • Oneliner #1155

    sleeping inThe amount of sleep required by an average person is "five more minutes."

  • Oneliner #1203

    WC FieldsOne Liner Advice: The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

    - W.C. Fields

  • Oneliner #1211

    dog8They should make an alarm clock that sounds like a dog ready to vomit; nothing makes me jump out of bed faster...

  • Oneliner #1217

    man sleeping"There's a sleeping person; let's go ask it questions," say children everywhere!

  • Oneliner #1249

    Insomnia Advice One LinerAdvice #7:

    The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

    - W.C. Fields