Evxn though my typxwritxr is an old modxl, it works quitx wxll xxcxpt for onx of the kxys. I havx many timxs wishxd that it workxd pxrfxctly.

It is trux that thxrx arx forty-onx kxys that function wxll xnough, but just onx kxy not working makxs thx diffxrxncx.

Somxtimxs it sxxms to mx that our church is somxthing likx my typxwritxr -- not all thx kxy pxoplx arx working propxrly.

As onx of thxm, you may say to yoursxlf, "Wxll, I am only onx pxrson, I don't makx or brxak thx church."

There is a special place in life,
That needs my humble skill,
A certain job I'm meant to do,
Which no one else can fulfill.

The time will be demanding,
And the pay is not too good
And yet I wouldn't change it
for a moment -- even if I could.

When the English playwright Oscar Wilde arrived at his club late at night after witnessing the first presentation of a play that had been a complete failure, someone asked. "How did your play go tonight, Oscar?

"Oh," said Wilde, "the play was a great success. The audience was a failure."

I learned a lesson in marketing from a man who bought an old boat, a trailer, and a motor from me. "Thanks," he said as he loaded them up. "I'm planning to resell them."

Good luck, I thought. I had been trying to get rid of them for months. But when I ran into him a few weeks later, he'd sold everything.

"How did you manage that?" I marveled.

"I took out an ad: 'Heavy-duty boat trailer with free boat.' When the buyer came to get it, I asked if he had a motor. He said no. I told him I happened to have one in my garage. Bought that, too."

My dad gave me one dollar bill
'Cause I'm his smartest son,
And I swapped it for two shiny quarters
'Cause two is more than one!

And then I took the quarters
And traded them to Lou
For three dimes--I guess he didn't know
That three is more than two!

For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.

For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others.

To lose weight, let go of stress, hatred, anger, discontentment, and the need to control others.

To improve your ears, listen to the Word of God.

For poise, walk with knowledge and self-esteem.

To strengthen your arms, hug at least 3 people a day; touch someone with your love.

J. Paul Getty was one of the wealthy men who frequently came to watch Jack Dempsey train. Himself a keen amateur boxer, he asked to be allowed to spar for a round with the champion.

Getty put up quite a creditable performance until he made the mistake of saying, "Hit me a little harder, Jack."

Dempsey knocked him out.

I was self-conscious about going to the gym, because I thought the pounds I had put on would make me stand out among the spandex-clad regulars. I chose a treadmill in the corner so I'd be inconspicuous.

However, as I exercised, my worst fears came true. At least a dozen people turned to stare at me periodically. I thought it might be my imagination, but then one woman even squinted to get a better look.

Mortified, I stepped off the machine to leave. When I turned around, I realized that the gym's only wall clock had been hanging just inches above my head.

I was the new coach of a Little League baseball team and had not yet learned the names of my players. At our first game I called each boy by the number on his uniform. When I yelled, "Number 5, your time to bat," Jeff Smith came to the plate. When I called for "Number 7," Steve Heinz jumped up. Then I yelled for "Number 1," but no one emerged from the dugout. Again I called for Number 1. Still no one came forward.

As the umpire looked on, annoyed at this delay of the game, I shouted; "Who's Number 1?"

That's when the whole team yelled, "We are, Coach! We are!"