Pharmacy Jokes

  • doctorI've long maintained that the distinction between "professionals" and "amateurs" is often very slight, often amounting to little more than that the former are paid and the latter are not. This is in no small measure because professional arrogance has been known to become intolerable if left unchecked.

    So it happened that a patient was making his first visit to the doctor. "And whom," began the physician with utmost dignity, "did you consult about your illness before you came to me?"

    "Only the pharmacist down at the corner," replied the patient.

  • doctor4A woman brought her baby in to see the doctor, and he determined right away the baby had an earache.

    He wrote a prescription for ear drops. In the directions he wrote, "Put two drops in right ear every four hours" and he abbreviated "right" as an R with a circle around it.

    Several days passed, and the woman returned with her baby, complaining that the baby still had an earache, and his little behind was getting really greasy with all those drops of oil.

    The doctor looked at the bottle of eardrops and sure enough, the pharmacist had typed the following instructions on the label:

    "Put two drops in R ear every four hours."

  • laxative bottleThe owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall. 

    The owner asks the clerk "What's with that guy over there by the wall?" 

    The clerk replies, "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative."

    The owner screams, "You goober!  You can't treat a cough with a bottle of laxatives!"

    The clerk calmly replies, "Of course you can! Look at him; he's afraid to cough!"

  • Hiccup JokeA man entered a drug store and asked to see the pharmacist.

    When the pharmacist came out, the man asked if he could give him a cure for the hiccups.

    The pharmacist immediately reached out and slapped him across the face.

    "What'd you do that for?" the man asked.

    "Well, you don't have the hiccups anymore, do you?"

    "No," the man replied, "but I'd bet that my wife out in the car still does!"