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Son Jokes

  • cardRealizing at the last minute that it was his father's birthday, a teenage boy rushed to the corner store to grab a card.

    He quickly found a son-to-father card but neglected to read it carefully.

    Later when his father opened his gifts, he was surprised to read aloud,

    "Happy birthday to a wonderful Dad. Now that I'm a father too . . ."

  • car theftI was with a friend in a cafe' when a noisy car alarm interrupted our conversation.

    "What good are car alarms when no one pays any attention to them?" I wondered aloud.

    "Some are quite effective," my friend corrected me.

    "Last summer, my teenager spent a lot of time at the neighbors'.

    Whenever I wanted him home, I'd go out to the driveway and jostle his car."

  • garbage cansA father is asked by his friend, "Has your son decided what he wants to be when he grows up?"

    "Yes, he wants to be a garbage collector," replied the boy's father.

    His friend thought for a moment and responded, "That's a rather strange ambition to have for a career."

    "Well," said the boy's father, "he thinks that garbage collectors only work on Tuesdays!"

  • woman old3One Sunday morning, a mother knocks on her son's bedroom door and tells him it's time to get up and go to church.

    "I'm not going to church this morning," the son says.

    "You gotta get up and go to church," says mother.

    "No, I'm not," says the son.

    "Yes, you are!" says the mother.

    "No, I'm not. They don't like me and I don't like them," says the son. "Give me two good reasons why I have to go." 

    So the mother patiently replies, "Number one, you're 55 years old. And number two, you're the pastor!"

  • A funny joke about a dad and his son out fishing.A man took his son fishing one day. After a few hours in the boat with not much to do, the son started asking his father some questions.

    "How does the boat float?" he asked.

    The man thought about the question for a moment, then said, "I don't really know, son."

    "Well, how do fish breath underwater?"