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Ageing llustrations

  • passportUnfortunately, getting a new passport required a new photo. As I handed my ten-year-old passport and the new picture to the clerk, I sighed. "I like the original better," I told her.

    "Trust me," she said. "Ten years from now, you'll like this one."

  • Ask Jeeves AnswersMy friend Nancy and I decided to introduce her elderly mother to the magic of the Internet. Our first move was to access the popular Ask Jeeves website, and we told her it could answer any question she had. Nancy's mother was very skeptical until Nancy said, "It's true, Mom. Think of something to ask it."

    As I sat with fingers poised over the keyboard, Nancy's mother thought a minute, then responded, "How is Aunt Helen feeling?"

  • glassesAs the three ladies picked up a menu, each put on a pair of glasses.

    "I really only need mine for close reading," explained the first.

    Remarked the second, "I only use mine when the light is bad."

    The third confessed, "I rarely wear mine - except when I want to see."

  • couple old~~ A good marriage must be created. ~~

    In the art of marriage, the little things are big things....

    It's never being too old to hold hands.

    It's remembering to say "I love you" at least once each day.

    It's never going to sleep angry.

    It's having a mutual sense of values and common objectives.

    It is standing together, facing the world.

    It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family.

    It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways.

    It is having the capacity to forgive and forget.

    It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow.

    It is a common search for the good and the beautiful.

    It is not only marrying the right partner, but also being the right partner.

  • hospital roomGrandma Jones from the valley had never experienced a sick day in her life, so she didn't take it kindly when a bad case of the mulligrubs sent her to the hospital for observation.

    By the time a pair of husky interns got Grandma tucked into bed, she had managed to complain about everything: the temperature, the lights, the skimpy gown, the food and the mattress, especially, the mattress.

    Suddenly, Grandma spotted a small plastic item with a button, attached to a cord. "What's that?" she demanded.

  • old ladyMy friend Ida was slowly recovering from a heart attack. "Doctor," she pleaded with her cardiologist, "you must keep me alive for the next two years. I want to attend my first grandchild's Bar Mitzvah."

    "We'll try," he replied compassionately.

    In due course Ida gratefully attended the festive rite of passage.

    Some time later she again spoke to her doctor. "My granddaughter is to be married in 18 months. Please help me to be able to attend her wedding."

  • Black and White

    tv old[An ode to times long gone; for older folks only. Under 40, you just won't understand.]

    You could hardly see for all the snow,
    Spread the rabbit ears as far as they go.
    Pull a chair up to the TV set,
    "Good night, David; Good night, Chet".

    Dependin' on the channel you tuned
    You got Rob and Laura or Ward and June.
    It felt so good, felt so right.
    Life looked better in black and white.

  • running feetIt was the finish line of the Boston marathon. A first time runner is hobbling away, having just finished.

    A grizzled old marathoner looks at him and says "You'll feel a lot worse tomorrow." He pauses and then says, "But the really bad news is that in about 3 days, you're going to think you had fun today."

  • It's not easy caring for elderly parents and relatives, and if you are doing so this may not be the easiest video to watch. But, it is a great reminder that like little children, we only have our elderly parents for a short while and that during that time we can imitate the sacrifice they made for us - or even make the sacrifice we wish they had.

  • man old2*Grandpa's Pearls of Wisdom*

    - Whether a man winds up with the nest egg or a goose egg depends a lot on the kind of chick he marries.

    - Trouble in marriage often starts when a man gets so busy earnin' his salt that he forgets his sugar.

    - Too many couples marry for better or for worse, but not for good.