I wish my wallet came with free refills.
In the word "scent" is it the s that is silent or the c?
Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?
George Burns has some of the best one-liners!
George: Gracie, did the nurse ever happen to drop you on your head when you were a baby?
Gracie: Oh no! We couldn't afford a nurse, my mother had to do it herself.
Change is inevitable except from vending machines.
"Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail." - Unknown
Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back.
If people could be paid to die for us, they'd get rich.
If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments!
Shopping with your husband is like hunting with the game warden.
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
George: Rich, ME? No, I'm a pauper.
Gracie: Congratulations! Boy or girl?
If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, eventually they would find me attractive.
One Liner Advice: It pays to buy things you dislike; they last much longer.
If I had a dollar for every time I've used algebra in my adult life, I'd have "n" dollars.
"If you will sacrifice for the sake of money, but will not sacrifice for the sake of Jesus, don't deceive yourself: money is your god."
- David Guzik