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Courtesy Illustrations

  • A Place and Time for Everything

    Movie theater etiquette.While watching a movie recently, I couldn't hear the dialogue over the chatter of the two women sitting in front of me. Unable to bear it any longer, I tapped one of them on the shoulder.

    "Excuse me," I said, "I can't hear."

    "I should hope not," she replied sharply. "This is a private conversation."

  • A Sermon Walking

    train stationReporters and city officials gathered at a Chicago railroad station one afternoon in 1953. The person they were meeting was the 1952 Nobel Peace Prize winner. A few minutes after the train came to a stop, a giant of a man - six feet four inches - with bushy hair and a large mustache stepped from the train. Cameras flashed. City officials approached him with hands outstretched. Various people began telling him how honored they were to meet him.

    The man politely thanked them and then, looking over their heads, asked if he could be excused for a moment. He quickly walked through the crowd until he reached the side of an elderly black woman who was struggling with two large suitcases. He picked up the bags and with a smile, escorted the woman to a bus. After helping her aboard, he wished her a safe journey. As he returned to the greeting party he apologized, "Sorry to have kept you waiting."

    The man was Dr. Albert Schweitzer, the famous missionary doctor who had spent his life helping the poor in Africa. In response to Schweitzer's action, one member of the reception committee said with great admiration to the reporter standing next to him, "That's the first time I ever saw a sermon walking."

    - Author Unknown

  • A Survival Kit for Everyday Living

    emergency kitItems Needed:

    1. Toothpick
    2. Rubber Band
    3. Band Aid
    4. Pencil
    5. Eraser
    6. Chewing Gum
    7. Mint
    8. Candy Kiss
    9. Tea Bag

    Why???

    1) TOOTHPICK - to remind you to pick out the good qualities in others.

    2) RUBBER BAND - to remind you to be flexible; things might not always go the way you want, but it will work out.

    3) BAND AID - to remind you to heal hurt feelings, yours or someone else's. A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one.

    4) PENCIL - to remind you to list your blessings everyday.

    5) ERASER - To remind you that everyone makes mistakes and that's OK.

    6) CHEWING GUM - to remind you to stick with it and you can accomplish anything.

    7) MINT - to remind you that you are worth a mint.

    8) CANDY KISS - to remind you that everyone needs a kiss or a hug everyday.

    9) TEA BAG - to remind you to relax daily and reflect on all the positive things in your life.

    Friends are a very rare jewel, indeed. They make you smile and encourage you to succeed. They lend an ear, share a word of praise and they always open their hearts to us.

    Show your friends how much you care.

  • Barber Job Description

    barberHe prunes the foliage on your head
    And trims around the ear
    So you will look respectable
    Wherever you appear.

    With special shears he thins your hair
    Then washes it with soap
    Or uses some restoring stuff
    To give you added hope.

  • Bus Stop

    couple walkingOnce there was couple traveling on a bus in a mountainous area. Close to their destination they decided to get off a bit early and enjoy a short walk the rest of the way.

    After the couple got off the bus, it proceeded on its route, but 100 feet later a huge boulder fell on the bus, crushing it and killing everybody on board.

    Upon see this happen the couple said, "We wish we were on that bus."

    Why do you think they said that?

    Think about it and then scroll down for the answer.

  • Car Accident Honesty

    parking lot2A man was trying to pull out of a parking place but bashed the bumper of the parked car in front of him.

    Witnessed by a handful of pedestrians waiting for a bus, the driver got out, inspected the damage, and proceeded to write a note to leave on the windshield of the car he had hit.

    The note read:

    "Hello. I have just hit your car, and there are some people here watching me who think that I am writing this note to leave you my name, phone number, and driver's license number, but I am not."

  • Courtesy

    shopping cartIt was a Saturday afternoon, and Ray had rushed down to the local supermarket to hurriedly pick up some hamburger rolls, chips and a few condiments. The big game was going to be on, so he was having a few friends over to watch it.

    The store was loaded with shoppers and as he headed for the six item express lane, the only one that didn't have a long line, a woman completely ignoring the overhead sign slipped into the check-out line just in front of him pushing a cart piled high with groceries.

  • Coveting

    parking lot2While walking through a parking lot, I tripped and fell flat on my face. As I was lying there, a woman stopped her car and called out, "Are you hurt?"

    "No, I'm fine," I said.

    "Oh, good," she continued. "Will you be vacating your parking space now?"

  • Culture

    rice bowlA young man, while bringing flowers to a cemetery, noticed an old Chinese man placing a bowl of rice on a nearby grave. The young man walked up to the Chinese man and asked, "When do you expect your friend to come up and eat the rice?"

    The old Chinese man replied with a smile, "Same time your friend comes up to smell the flowers."

  • Hospital Complaints

    hospital roomGrandma Jones from the valley had never experienced a sick day in her life, so she didn't take it kindly when a bad case of the mulligrubs sent her to the hospital for observation.

    By the time a pair of husky interns got Grandma tucked into bed, she had managed to complain about everything: the temperature, the lights, the skimpy gown, the food and the mattress, especially, the mattress.

    Suddenly, Grandma spotted a small plastic item with a button, attached to a cord. "What's that?" she demanded.

  • Respect, Reverence

    fishingWhen I was stationed at Myrtle Beach, S.C., I spent my spare time fishing in the backwaters of the Intracoastal Waterway. Soon I became a guide of sorts for some senior non-commissioned officers.

    Once, a chief master sergeant hooked a 20-pound striped bass. After he reeled the fish onto the boat, he slipped the hook out of its mouth and released it back into the water.

    He must have noticed the puzzled look on my face.

    "Rank does have its privileges. I can't keep a fish that has more stripes than I do," he explained.

  • The Deeds Undone

    sunset2It isn't the thing you do, friend, it's the thing you leave undone,
    Which gives you the bitter heartache, at the setting of the sun:
    The tender words unspoken, to letter you did not write,
    The flowers you might have sent, are your haunting ghosts at night.