Store Jokes

  • 20 Like You

    factoryA factory owner said to a store owner, "Thank you, Mr. Smith, for your patronage. I wish I had twenty customers like you."

    "Wow, it's nice to hear that, but I'm kind of surprised," admitted Smith. "You know that I argue every bill and always pay late."

    The factory owner said, "I'd still like twenty customers like you. The problem is, I have two hundred."

  • Don't Have Any

    store signA woman walks into a convenience store. She walks straight to the manager and asks, "Do you have any small notebooks?"

    "Sorry," says the manager. "We're all out."

    The woman shrugs, and asks, "Well, do you have any mechanical pencils?"

    "Nope, don't have that either," says the manager.

    The woman feels her stomach rumbling and asks, "Do you have Doritos? Nachos?"

    The manager shrugs, "Sorry."

  • Goober Return

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one here.

    thermosA goober walks up to the return counter at Walmart and says to the clerk, "I'd like to return this thermos."

    "Is it defective?" replies the clerk.

    "Yes," says the goober, "it does not work the way it's supposed to. I was told it would keep hot things hot, and cold things cold and it doesn't do either."

    "What did you put in it?" asks the clerk.

    The goober says, "Two cups of coffee and an ice cream sandwich."

  • Good Robbery

    store signThe detective was interviewing the man whose clothing shop had just been burglarized.

    "It's bad," said the proprietor, "but it's not as bad as it could have been if he'd robbed me yesterday."

    "Why is that?" the detective asked.

    "Because today everything was on sale."