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Store Jokes

  • factoryA factory owner said to a store owner, "Thank you, Mr. Smith, for your patronage. I wish I had twenty customers like you."

    "Wow, it's nice to hear that, but I'm kind of surprised," admitted Smith. "You know that I argue every bill and always pay late."

    The factory owner said, "I'd still like twenty customers like you. The problem is, I have two hundred."

  • lawn ornament mis-hapA customer at the counter of a lawn ornament shop:

    "Give me four of those pinwheels, two of those pink flamingos, two of the sunflowers, and one of those bent-over grandmas in bloomers."

    Cashier replies:

    "That'll be eight dollars for the pinwheels, ten dollars for the flamingos, six dollars for the sunflowers, and an apology to my wife!"

  • store signA woman walks into a convenience store. She walks straight to the manager and asks, "Do you have any small notebooks?"

    "Sorry," says the manager. "We're all out."

    The woman shrugs, and asks, "Well, do you have any mechanical pencils?"

    "Nope, don't have that either," says the manager.

    The woman feels her stomach rumbling and asks, "Do you have Doritos? Nachos?"

    The manager shrugs, "Sorry."

  • If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one here.

    thermosA goober walks up to the return counter at Walmart and says to the clerk, "I'd like to return this thermos."

    "Is it defective?" replies the clerk.

    "Yes," says the goober, "it does not work the way it's supposed to. I was told it would keep hot things hot, and cold things cold and it doesn't do either."

    "What did you put in it?" asks the clerk.

    The goober says, "Two cups of coffee and an ice cream sandwich."

  • store signThe detective was interviewing the man whose clothing shop had just been burglarized.

    "It's bad," said the proprietor, "but it's not as bad as it could have been if he'd robbed me yesterday."

    "Why is that?" the detective asked.

    "Because today everything was on sale."