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Kid Illustrations

  • A Long Walk

    dog on treadmillOne day after a nasty streak of bad weather, I asked my teenage son to take our dog for a long walk after school.

    When I came home from work, I found my son stretched out on the recliner, watching television.

    He had leash in hand while the dog trotted happily away on the treadmill.

  • Childhood Impression

    doorbellI was accompanying my eight-year-old daughter who was selling cookies door-to-door for the Girl Scouts. After visiting several homes, she commented on the different styles of doorbells: some buzzed, some rang, some warbled. We made a game of guessing what the next bell would sound like.

    At the precise moment she touched the doorbell at one house, the church tower began to chime. She wheeled around with a look of amazement on her face. "Now that's a doorbell!"

  • Childhood Innocence

    A joke about a little boy lost in a the women's locker roomA little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women’s locker room.

    When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover.

    The little boy watched in amazement and then asked,

    ‘What’s the matter, haven’t you ever seen a little boy before?’

  • Children Shopping

    Children ShoppingMy first-grade daughter and her friend both needed new boots as winter approached. Not many days passed before her friend got in the car one morning sporting brand new boots.

    "Beth," I commented, "I see you got new boots. Where did you get them?"

    "At the store," she answered.

    "Which one?" I asked.

    She began looking at her new boots and after a pause said, "Both of them."

  • Church Leadership

    bishopWe were celebrating the 100th anniversary of our church, and several former pastors and the bishop were in attendance. At one point, our minister had the children gather at the altar for a talk about the importance of the day. He began by asking, "Does anyone know what the bishop does?"

    There was silence.

    Finally, one little boy answered gravely, "He's the one you can move diagonally."

  • Conclusions and Impressions

    crayonsLittle Johnny had been bringing his drawings home from kindergarten every day since he started a month ago. Each day his mother admired the pictures and hung them on the refrigerator. One thing started bothering her. Little Johnny only used black and browns for his drawings. Fearing a problem and not wanting it to get worse, she decided to take him to a child psychologist.

  • Dependency On God

    pray childPrayer of a child:

    "Bless my mom and dad... and dear God, take good care of Yourself.

    If anything happens to You, we're sunk."

  • Don't Need Grace

    meal familyLittle Mikey and his family were having Sunday dinner at his grandmother's house. Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served. When Little Mikey received his plate, he started eating right away.

    "Mikey! Please wait until we say our prayer," said his mother.

    "I don't need to," the boy replied.

    "Of course, you do," his mother insisted through gritted teeth. "We always say a prayer before eating at our house."

    "That's at our house," Mikey explained. "But this is Grandma's house and she knows how to cook."

  • Empathy

    child sadA Sunday school teacher was telling her youngsters about Daniel and the Lion's Den. To illustrate the lesson she had a picture of Daniel standing, brave and confident, with a group of lions around him. Suddenly, one little girl started to cry.

    The teacher said, "Don't cry. The lions are not going to eat Daniel."

    Holding back sobs and tears the girl said, "That's not what I'm crying about. That little lion, over in the corner, isn't going to get anything to eat."

  • Encouragement

    strollerWhile visiting the Atlanta area, I walked through a lovely park with a wide path where people could jog, run their dogs or ride trail bikes. As I descended a hill, I saw a woman coming toward me, pushing a stroller with two toddlers in it.

    "We're coming to a hill," the woman announced to her children, "so you'll have to help me. Are you ready?"

    I wondered how the little ones could be of assistance, but as I passed by I heard them earnestly repeating their encouragement:

    "I think I can, I think I can..."

  • Facts of Life, Birds and Bees, Children

    laundry machinesIt was 6 p.m., and I was about to leave the coin laundry where I was employed. My boss called me over and asked if I would mind dropping off someone's laundry on my way home.

    "It's for my cousin," she apologized, "who's eight months pregnant and can't get out much anymore." I cheerfully agreed and, driving to the address, knocked at the door. A little girl, the sister-to-be, answered.

    "Hi, there," I said with a big smile. "Is your mommy home?" Holding up the white bundle of clothes, I explained, "I have a delivery for her."

    The child's mouth dropped, and her eyes went wide.

    "Mom!" she shrieked. "Come quick! It's the stork!"

  • Fatherly Pride

    boy happyMy dad gave me one dollar bill
    'Cause I'm his smartest son,
    And I swapped it for two shiny quarters
    'Cause two is more than one!

    And then I took the quarters
    And traded them to Lou
    For three dimes--I guess he didn't know
    That three is more than two!

  • God Uses Little People

    child and dadGod uses little people
    to do things needing done,
    And since he lives inside of us,
    He and us are one.

    God wants to use our bodies,
    Our feet and hands and heart,
    To do his tasks is what he asks,
    And now we need to start.

  • God's Power

    storm cloudsA boy was helping his mother bring the clothes in off the line as a storm threatened.

    As they brought in the last armload and closed the door, the boy waved his hand at the heavens and said, "Okay God! Let'er go!"

  • Going Back, Progress

    children playI want to be a kid again. I want to go back to the time when...

    * Decisions were made by going "Eeny-meeny-miney-mo."

    * Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming, "Do over!"

    * "Race issue" meant arguing about who ran the fastest.

  • Innocence

    baby feetIn the maternity ward of a hospital, newborn girl baby looks over at newborn boy baby and asks, "Are you a girl baby or a boy baby?"

    The boy baby quickly chirps up, "I'm a boy baby!"

    "How can you tell?" asks girl baby.

    "Easy," says boy baby. And, with that, he threw off the blankets, hoisted up his itty-bitty nightshirt and proudly pointed downward. "See.....blue booties!"

  • Inspiration

    sermon writing

    A boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon.

    "How do you know what to say?" he asked.

    "Why, God tells me."

    "Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?"

     

  • Job Impressions

    dad daughterI had always talked about my job a lot at home, and my young daughter had always expressed great interest. So I thought it would be a treat for her to spend the day with me at the office. Since I wanted it to be a surprise, I didn't tell her where we were going, just that it would be fun.

    Although usually a bit shy, she seemed excited to meet each colleague I introduced. On the way home, however, she seemed somewhat down.

    "Didn't you have a nice time?" I asked.

    "Well, it was okay," she responded, "but I thought it would be more like a circus."

    Confused, I asked, "Whatever do you mean?"

    She said, "Well, you said you work with a bunch of clowns, and I never got to see them!"

  • Kids on the Bible

    Children's thoughts on the BibleThe statements below are said to have been written by actual students, that they are genuine and NOT retouched or corrected:

    - Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark.

    - The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, Moses went up on Mount cyanide to get the ten amendments.

    - The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.

    - The fifth commandment is to humor thy father and mother.

  • Kindness

    ice cream2In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10 year old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him.

    "How much is an ice cream sundae?"

    "Fifty cents," replied the waitress.

    The little boy pulled his hand out of his pocket and studied a number of coins in it. "How much is a dish of plain ice cream?" he inquired.

    Some people were now waiting for a table and the waitress was a bit impatient. "Thirty-five cents," she said brusquely.

  • Lesson Learned

    old manWhen my son was around 4 years old, we went to the local drug store one afternoon. While in the check out he noticed a bald-headed man behind us in line. I had, as good moms do, been teaching him manners, especially how important they are when in public. I noticed the man the same time my son did and just prayed that he would remember what I had taught him.

    Within seconds, at an unusually quiet moment in the store, my son proclaimed, "Look mama, that man ain't got no hair!" The man was understanding, and even smiled at my son.

    Next, without warning, my son shouted, "And look, he ain't got no teeth either!!"

  • Liar Lesson

    class1A Sunday school teacher was giving her class the assignment for the next week.

    "Next Sunday," she said, "we are going to talk about liars, and in preparation for our lesson I want you all to read the seventeenth chapter of Mark."

    The following week, at the beginning of the class meeting, the teacher said, "Now then, all of you who have prepared for the lesson by reading the seventeenth chapter of Mark, please step to the front of the room."

    About half the class rose and came forward.

    "The rest of you may leave," said the teacher. "These students are the ones I want to talk to. There is no seventeenth chapter in the Book of Mark."

  • Marriage, Engagement

    children2Little Billy took his girlfriend downtown to get married.

    The marriage license clerk smiled and explained that they were both much too young.

    Little Billy asked, "Could you give us a learners permit then?"

  • Opportunity, Optimism, Entrepreneurship

    Teenagers see the opportunity.Someone in our neighborhood put a huge sofa out by the curb for trash collection.

    Since it was in good shape, many motorists slowed down for a look. But when they saw how enormous it was, they'd leave.

    Eventually, a sports car pulled up, and two teens got out.

    "This I've got to see," I thought.

    They removed the cushions, turned the sofa upside down, and shook it hard. Then they picked up all the coins that tumbled out and drove off laughing.

  • Our Shepherd

    sheep2A Sunday school teacher decided to have her young class memorize one of the most quoted passages in the Bible: Psalm 23. She gave the youngsters a month to learn the chapter.

    Little Rick was excited about the task, but he just couldn't remember the Psalm. After much practice, he could barely get past the first line. On the day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in front of the congregation, Rickey was very nervous.

    When it was his turn, he stepped up to the microphone and said proudly, "The Lord is my Shepherd, and that's all I need to know."

  • Parental Supervision

    classroomThe math teacher saw that little Davie wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him and said, "Davie! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?"

    Little Davie quickly replied, "NBC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network!"

  • Parenting Again

    watergunsWhen my three-year-old son opened the birthday gift from his grandmother, he discovered a water pistol. He squealed with delight and headed for the nearest sink. I was not so pleased.

    I turned to Mom and said, "I'm surprised at you. Don't you remember how we used to drive you crazy with water guns?"

    Mom smiled and then replied....."I remember."

  • Parenting Angst

    children4I was leaving for a two-day conference, and my seven-year-old daughter, Katherine, was becoming overly clinging and teary.

    I was mystified at her emotional reaction until I heard her say to my husband,

    "Daddy, I have a loose tooth. If it falls out while Mommy is gone, do you know how to handle this tooth fairy thing?"

  • Parenting Dilemma

    man sonTeddy came thundering down the stairs, much to his father's annoyance.

    "Teddy," he called, "how many more times do I have I to tell you to come downstairs quietly? Now, go back upstairs and come down like a civilized human being."

    There was a silence, and Teddy reappeared in the front room.

    "That's better," said his father. "Now in the future you will always come downstairs like that."

    "OK," said Teddy cheerily. "I slid down the railing!"

  • Preparing for Parenthood

    baby2Brian and Cathleen took their newborn, Emily, to meet her cousins, Erin and Savannah, in Oklahoma. The cousins were delighted with her and watched everything the adults did with Emily including changing her diapers. The girls were sitting right beside Brian the first time he changed one of Emily's messy diapers.

    When he opened her diaper he said, "Ew! She pooped!"

    Erin looked at him and asked, "Didn't they tell you she would do that?"

  • Psalm 23 Summary

    bible girlA Sunday school teacher asked her class if anyone could quote the entire 23rd Psalm.

    A golden-haired, four-and-a-half-year-old girl was among those who raised their hands. A bit skeptical, the teacher asked if she could really quote the entire psalm. The little girl came to the front of the room, faced the class, made a perky little bow, and said, "The Lord is my shepherd, that's all I want."

    She bowed again and went and sat down.

    That may well be the greatest interpretation of the 23rd Psalm ever heard.

  • Quit Bothering Us

    doorbellWe had spent the day moving from our farmhouse into our new house in town.

    Early the next morning, a Saturday, our 3 1/2-year-old ran into our bedroom to wake us up.

    I dressed him and told him to play in the yard and to quit bothering us.

    About 20 minutes later, he came running back.

    "Mommy, Mommy," he exclaimed, "everybody has doorbells - and they all work."

  • Raising Children and Bamboo

    bambooDid you know that there is a certain type of bamboo in Japan that only flowers once every 120 years?

    It's certainly puzzling how this plant can keep track of time, but everything 119 years before it germinates will determine how much the bamboo will bloom. And that's a long time to wait to see the results.

    In the same way, children don't always blossom on your timetable. The love, discipline and instruction you pour into their lives cannot be immediately seen. Your job as a parent is to prune and nourish your children in anticipation of their blooming. And once they do, you'll see them grow rapidly into patient, loving and consistent people.

    The latest bloomers often have the most striking and beautiful flowers.

  • Reasons Why My Children Do Not Need More Toys

    toys copyBy Tammy Rosenfeldt

    ~ They started off as babies who found my Tupperware drawer much more fascinating than their toy box.

    ~ The days I change the paper towel roll in the kitchen bring great excitement as they claim their new sword or telescope.

    ~ Their current toys are only exciting when I either reorganize them/put them neatly away or when I start my garage sale pile.

  • Self-Righteous Son

    boy soccerballThanks to List member Dannette from Ohio for this true story about her son.

    When my son was 4, I was in a Women's Bible Study group. They had classes for children as well, while we studied in our groups. One day, as my son and I were walking to our car, he said to me, "Mom, I'm not going to sin anymore."

    You can imagine my pride at hearing this. Then I got to wondering why he said this, so I asked him.

    His answer was quick: "Jesus said if you don't sin, you can throw the first stone, and I want to throw the first stone."

    - Dannette from Ohio

  • Simple Obedience

    child and dadToday Kathryn "graduates" from Kindergarten.

    This morning while she was getting dressed, she insisted on wearing a skirt under her dress. I tried in vain to talk her out of it. Since she's never worn the two together before, I asked her where she got the idea of wearing the skirt with the dress.

    She said during graduation practice, one of the teachers said,

    "Girls will wear dresses and skirts."

  • Sincerity

    table setOne summer evening, a thirteen-year-old came in while his parents were setting the table for supper. Quite surprisingly, he asked if he could help.

    His mother said, "No, but I appreciate your asking."

    The child responded, "Well, I appreciate your saying 'no'."

  • Teacher Parents

    parentingMy wife and I are teachers, and our jobs often spill over into our family life. One morning as our eight-year-old Maggie was getting ready for school, I peeked into her room to be sure she had tidied it up.

    "You call THAT a made bed?" I asked.

    No Dad," Maggie replied. "It's just a rough draft."

  • Teamwork, Togetherness

    baseball1I was the new coach of a Little League baseball team and had not yet learned the names of my players. At our first game I called each boy by the number on his uniform. When I yelled, "Number 5, your time to bat," Jeff Smith came to the plate. When I called for "Number 7," Steve Heinz jumped up. Then I yelled for "Number 1," but no one emerged from the dugout. Again I called for Number 1. Still no one came forward.

    As the umpire looked on, annoyed at this delay of the game, I shouted; "Who's Number 1?"

    That's when the whole team yelled, "We are, Coach! We are!"

  • The Light Of The World

    Sunday School pageantA little boy forgot his lines in a Sunday School presentation.

    His mother, sitting in the front row to prompt him, gestured and formed the words silently with her lips, but it didn't help. Her son's memory was blank.

    Finally, she leaned forward and whispered the cue, "I am the light of the world."

    The child beamed proudly and with great feeling and a loud, clear voice said,

    "My mom is the light of the world."

    - Jesus is the Light of the world!

  • Walk a Little Plainer Daddy

    father and son2"Walk a little plainer daddy," said a little boy so frail,

    "I'm following your footsteps and I don't want to fail.

    Sometimes your steps are plain, sometimes they are hard to see;

    So walk a little plainer Daddy, for you are leading me.

    I know that once you walked this way many years ago;

  • When You Thought I Wasn't Looking

    Children are always watching the adults around them.A message every adult should read, because children are watching you and doing as you do, not as you say.

    When you thought I wasn't looking,
    I saw you hang my first painting on the refrigerator,
    and I immediately wanted to paint another one.

    When you thought I wasn't looking,
    I saw you feed a stray cat,
    and I learned that it was good to be kind to animals.

  • Where God Ain't

    dandylionHe was just a little boy, on a week's first day.
    He was wandering home from Sunday School, and dawdling on the way.

    He scuffed his shoes into the grass; he found a caterpillar.
    He found a fluffy milkweed pod, and blew out all the "filler."

    A bird's nest in a tree overhead, so wisely placed on high.
    Was just another wonder that caught his eager eye.

  • Winning Arguments

    phone handheld 2One day I found Morris, my five-year-old son, with the telephone, which he quickly hung up when he saw me.

    "What were you doing?" I asked him.

    "Calling Aunt Sarah."

    "How could you have called Aunt Sarah?" I asked. "You don't even know her number."

    "Yes, I do and I did call her," little Morris replied.