Weight Loss One-liners

  • Oneliner #0975

    weight scaleThe only way I'm going to drop ten pounds is if I go shopping in England.

  • Oneliner #1034

    I am going to be healthy if it kills me.vegetables

  • Oneliner #1064

    stairsMy exercise program consists of having a lot of stairs in my home and forgetting things.

  • Oneliner #1112

    man largeTold the doctor I thought I had athlete's foot; he looked at me and said, "I don't think you have athlete's anything."

  • Oneliner #1119

    weight scaleMy goal was to lose 10 pounds this year: only 15 to go!

  • Oneliner #1120

    man large1I need to get in shape; if I was murdered right now my chalk outline would be a circle.

  • Oneliner #1140

    shoppingAccidentally went grocery shopping on an empty stomach and now I'm the proud owner of aisle 4!

  • Oneliner #1157

    man largeMy goal was to lose 10 pounds this year: only 15 to go.

  • Oneliner #1176

    scalesEleanor Roosevelt once said, "Do one thing every day that scares you;" and that's why I weigh myself in the mornings.

  • Oneliner #1186

    man large2I don't mean to brag, but... I finished my 14-day diet in 3 hours and 20 minutes.

  • Oneliner #1187

    woman deskA recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it.

  • Unintended Pounds

    weight scale

    I didn't mean to gain weight; it happened by snaccident.