Dieting One-liners

  • Oneliner #0975

    weight scaleThe only way I'm going to drop ten pounds is if I go shopping in England.

  • Oneliner #0977

    cupcakes copyOnce you lick the frosting off a cupcake it becomes a muffin and muffins are healthy; You’re welcome.

  • Oneliner #1011

    food cholesteralI personally stay away from health foods. At my age, I need all the preservatives I can get.

    - George Burns

  • Oneliner #1060

    motorcycleI drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

  • Oneliner #1176

    scalesEleanor Roosevelt once said, "Do one thing every day that scares you;" and that's why I weigh myself in the mornings.

  • Oneliner #1186

    man large2I don't mean to brag, but... I finished my 14-day diet in 3 hours and 20 minutes.

  • Oneliner #1187

    woman deskA recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it.