Been on a diet for two weeks and all I lost is 14 days.
PLOT TWIST: Maybe eating a doughnut wasn't cheating on my diet; maybe going on a diet was cheating on my doughnuts.
The only way I'm going to drop ten pounds is if I go shopping in England.
Once you lick the frosting off a cupcake it becomes a muffin and muffins are healthy; You’re welcome.
I personally stay away from health foods. At my age, I need all the preservatives I can get.
- George Burns
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "Do one thing every day that scares you;" and that's why I weigh myself in the mornings.
I don't mean to brag, but... I finished my 14-day diet in 3 hours and 20 minutes.
A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it.
I wish I was as fat as I was the first time I thought I was fat.
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