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School Puns

  • Adhesive Question

    glue stickGlue stick: is that redundant or an epoxymoron? 

  • Amazing Product

    whiteboardWhiteboards... they're remarkable.

  • Borrowing Thanks

    bankThank-you student loans for getting me through university. 

    I don't think I can ever repay you!

  • Class Drop

    Karl MarxI dropped out of communism class: lousy Marx.

  • Clever Politics

    caesarHow was the Roman Empire cut in half?

    With a pair of Caesars.

  • Earthquake Theory

    professor in class"The professor discovered that his theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground."

  • Father's Occupation

    man magician"What's your father's occupation?" asked the school secretary on the first day of the new academic year.

    "He's a magician, Ma'am" said Little Johnny.

    "How interesting. What's his favorite trick?"

    "He saws people in half."

    "Wow! Now, next question. Any brothers or sisters?"

    "One half brother and two half sisters."

  • Fish Schools

    fish schoolWhen fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.

  • Geometry

    triangleGeometry: Without it life is pointless.

  • Let it Bee

    paper penSo what if I can't spell Armiggedon? It's not the end of the world.

  • Literary Pisces

    swordfishThe swordfish has few predators to worry about in the wild...

    except for the seldom seen penfish which is said to be even mightier.

  • Magician's School

    magicianI went to Magician's School but flunked the final exam.

    They were all trick questions.

  • Math Decorator

    living roomHey Archimedes, I love what you've done with displace!

  • Math Pun 1

    Cornbread is square.Pi R squared.

    Nooo! Pie R round; cornbread R square.

  • Performance Pun

    Theatre Stage PunDuring the performance of a high school drama class at the local theatre, the stage floor was damaged resulting in a distinct hole.

    Subsequent acts managed to avoid the damaged area until Billy, juggling bowling pins, accidentally stepped through the hole up to his knee.

    He apologized to the audience for his clumsiness. But a heckler in the back of the theatre shouted:

    "Don't worry, Billy! It's just a stage you're going through!"

  • Soda Test

    girl2We just had a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory.

    I hope there is no pop quiz.

  • Stubby Purpose

    pencilsBroken pencils are pointless!

  • The Science of You

    student1You matter, unless you multiply yourself by the speed of light...

    then you energy!

  • Word Play

    theatreI did a theatrical performance about puns.

    It was a play on words.

  • Wordy Fossil

    dinosaurA dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary: Athesaurus.