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School Puns

  • glue stickGlue stick: is that redundant or an epoxymoron? 

  • whiteboardWhiteboards... they're remarkable.

  • bankThank-you student loans for getting me through university. 

    I don't think I can ever repay you!

  • Karl MarxI dropped out of communism class: lousy Marx.

  • caesarHow was the Roman Empire cut in half?

    With a pair of Caesars.

  • professor in class"The professor discovered that his theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground."

  • man magician"What's your father's occupation?" asked the school secretary on the first day of the new academic year.

    "He's a magician, Ma'am" said Little Johnny.

    "How interesting. What's his favorite trick?"

    "He saws people in half."

    "Wow! Now, next question. Any brothers or sisters?"

    "One half brother and two half sisters."

  • fish schoolWhen fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.

  • triangleGeometry: Without it life is pointless.

  • paper penSo what if I can't spell Armiggedon? It's not the end of the world.

  • swordfishThe swordfish has few predators to worry about in the wild...

    except for the seldom seen penfish which is said to be even mightier.

  • magicianI went to Magician's School but flunked the final exam.

    They were all trick questions.

  • living roomHey Archimedes, I love what you've done with displace!

  • Cornbread is square.Pi R squared.

    Nooo! Pie R round; cornbread R square.

  • Theatre Stage PunDuring the performance of a high school drama class at the local theatre, the stage floor was damaged resulting in a distinct hole.

    Subsequent acts managed to avoid the damaged area until Billy, juggling bowling pins, accidentally stepped through the hole up to his knee.

    He apologized to the audience for his clumsiness. But a heckler in the back of the theatre shouted:

    "Don't worry, Billy! It's just a stage you're going through!"

  • girl2We just had a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory.

    I hope there is no pop quiz.

  • pencilsBroken pencils are pointless!

  • student1You matter, unless you multiply yourself by the speed of light...

    then you energy!

  • theatreI did a theatrical performance about puns.

    It was a play on words.

  • dinosaurA dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary: Athesaurus.