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School Puns

  • Adhesive Question

    glue stickGlue stick: is that redundant or an epoxymoron? 

  • Amazing Product

    whiteboardWhiteboards... they're remarkable.

  • Borrowing Thanks

    bankThank-you student loans for getting me through university. 

    I don't think I can ever repay you!

  • Class Drop

    Karl MarxI dropped out of communism class: lousy Marx.

  • Clever Politics

    caesarHow was the Roman Empire cut in half?

    With a pair of Caesars.

  • Father's Occupation

    man magician"What's your father's occupation?" asked the school secretary on the first day of the new academic year.

    "He's a magician, Ma'am" said Little Johnny.

    "How interesting. What's his favorite trick?"

    "He saws people in half."

    "Wow! Now, next question. Any brothers or sisters?"

    "One half brother and two half sisters."

  • Geometry

    triangleGeometry: Without it life is pointless.

  • Let it Bee

    paper penSo what if I can't spell Armiggedon? It's not the end of the world.

  • Literary Pisces

    swordfishThe swordfish has few predators to worry about in the wild...

    except for the seldom seen penfish which is said to be even mightier.

  • Magician's School

    magicianI went to Magician's School but flunked the final exam.

    They were all trick questions.

  • Math Decorator

    living roomHey Archimedes, I love what you've done with displace!

  • Math Pun 1

    Cornbread is square.Pi R squared.

    Nooo! Pie R round; cornbread R square.

  • Soda Test

    girl2We just had a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory.

    I hope there is no pop quiz.

  • Stubby Purpose

    pencilsBroken pencils are pointless!

  • The Science of You

    student1You matter, unless you multiply yourself by the speed of light...

    then you energy!

  • Word Play

    theatreI did a theatrical performance about puns.

    It was a play on words.

  • Wordy Fossil

    dinosaurA dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary: Athesaurus.