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Advertising Jokes

  • Duelling Barbers

    barber poleA new hair salon opened up for business right across the street from the old established hair cutters' place.

    They put up a big bold sign which read:

    "WE GIVE SEVEN DOLLAR HAIR CUTS!"

    Not to be outdone, the old Master Barber put up his own sign:

    "WE FIX SEVEN DOLLAR HAIR CUTS"

  • Sewing Machine Ad

    Poorly worded ad causes trouble.The following is an ad from a newspaper which appeared four days in a row - the last three hopelessly trying to correct the first day's mistake.

    MONDAY:

    For sale: R. D. Jones has one sewing machine for sale. Phone 948-0707 after 7 P.M.. and ask for Mrs. Kelly who lives with him cheap.

    TUESDAY:

    Notice: We regret having erred In R. D. Jones' ad yesterday. It should have read "One sewing machine for sale cheap. Phone 948-0707 and ask for Mrs. Kelly, who lives with him after 7 P.M."

    WEDNESDAY:

    Notice: R. D. Jones has informed us that he has received several annoying telephone calls because of the error we made in the classified ad yesterday. The ad stands correct as follows: "For sale: R. D. Jones has one sewing machine for sale. Cheap. Phone 948-0707 after 7 P.M. and ask for Mrs. Kelly who loves with him."

    THURSDAY:

    Notice: I, R. D. Jones, have no sewing machine for sale. I intentionally broke it. Don't call 948-0707 as I have had the phone disconnected. I have not been carrying on with Mrs. Kelly. Until yesterday she was my housekeeper, but she has now quit.

  • Signs Your Church has Sold Out to Corporate Sponsors

    church people- Taco Bell's talking dog now reading announcements.

    - In Christmas play, Joseph seen drinking can of Coke.

    - Greeters all dressed like Mr. Goodwrench.

    - Personal pew licenses now sold.

    - Baptismals include dolphin show from Sea World.

    - Statue of Moses seen holding keys to a Jeep.

    - The 12 disciples replaced by Disney characters.

    - Scripture verses brought to you by Microsoft Office.