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Retirement Illustrations

  • Health Priorities

    senior citizenTwo patients limp into two different medical clinics with the same complaint. Both have trouble walking and appear to require a hip replacement. The first patient is examined within the hour, is x-rayed the same day and has a time booked for surgery the following week.

    The second sees her family doctor after waiting a week for an appointment, then waits eighteen weeks to see a specialist, then gets an x-ray, which isn't reviewed for another month and finally has her surgery scheduled for a year from then.

    Why the different treatment for the two patients?

    The first is a golden retriever; the second is a senior citizen.

  • Investing, Long Term Planning

    bananas green and yellowApproaching eighty-five years of age, Mrs. Lipkowitz finally decided it was time to give up her apartment in New York and move to Miami. She was given the name of a Florida realtor, who enthusiastically drove her all over Miami, extolling the virtues of every apartment they looked at.

    "And this one, what a steal," he rhapsodized, "the investment of a lifetime. Why, in ten years it's gonna be worth three times..."

    "Sonny," interrupted Mrs. Lipkowitz, "at my age I don't even buy green bananas."

  • Remembrance

    balloons2The staff at a business office was hosting a farewell luncheon for a retiring colleague. As the group prepared to go to the restaurant, they found that they couldn't fit the giant balloon they had purchased for the retiring 'guest of honor' into the car. Undaunted, they simply held the balloon out the window as they drove.

    The office workers were not prepared for the glares they received from passers-by, however.

    As the long line of traffic in front of their vehicle began to turn, they saw that their car was right behind a long funeral procession.

    There was nothing they could do but hold on to the balloon with its large farewell message: "GONE, BUT NOT FORGOTTEN."