Shopping Puns

  • record playerBack in the days before digital music, a woman intended to call a record store but dialed the wrong number and got a private home instead. "Do you have 'Eyes of Blue' and 'A Love Supreme'?" she asked.

    "Well, no," answered the puzzled homeowner, "but I have a wife and eleven children."

    "Is that a record?" she inquired.

    "I don't think so," replied the man, "but it's as close as I want to get."

  • shopping credit cardThe cashiers around here are always checking me out!

  • shoppingBuyer Beware: Shopping malls have benches, so guys can sit while they give up the will to live.

  • goosex2I went out to buy some goose feather pillows, but I found they were so expensive I couldn't even afford the down payment.

  • Swedish Warship PunWhy do Swedish warships have bar codes on the sides?

    So that when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.

  • chess gameAvoid pawn shops: you'll just get rooked.

  • corn on cobAt the grocery store today we saw cobs of corn "on sale" for $4.00 for 4. A buck an ear? That's piracy!

  • christmas gifts punSomeone steals your Christmas parcels.

    Better call the police Navidad.

  • Shopping PunI went shopping for cherries and microphones the other day.

    Bought a bing, bought a boom.

  • thesaurus punJust bought a thesaurus at the store and brought it home to find out the pages are all blank. I have no words to describe how angry I am.

  • store toy"Hey, where can I find the Terminator action figures?"

    "Aisle B, back."

  • yogurt greek brands The yogurt aisle is so confusing now: It's all Greek to me.