Shopping Puns

  • A Love Supreme

    record playerBack in the days before digital music, a woman intended to call a record store but dialed the wrong number and got a private home instead. "Do you have 'Eyes of Blue' and 'A Love Supreme'?" she asked.

    "Well, no," answered the puzzled homeowner, "but I have a wife and eleven children."

    "Is that a record?" she inquired.

    "I don't think so," replied the man, "but it's as close as I want to get."

  • Dr. Benchvorkian

    shoppingBuyer Beware: Shopping malls have benches, so guys can sit while they give up the will to live.

  • Goose Pun

    goosex2I went out to buy some goose feather pillows, but I found they were so expensive I couldn't even afford the down payment.

  • Ikea Navy

    Swedish Warship PunWhy do Swedish warships have bar codes on the sides?

    So that when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.

  • Pawn Shops

    chess gameAvoid pawn shops: you'll just get rooked.

  • Pirate Veggies

    corn on cobAt the grocery store today we saw cobs of corn "on sale" for $4.00 for 4. A buck an ear? That's piracy!

  • Report All Grinches

    christmas gifts punSomeone steals your Christmas parcels.

    Better call the police Navidad.

  • Shopping "Taken Care Of"

    Shopping PunI went shopping for cherries and microphones the other day.

    Bought a bing, bought a boom.

  • Toy Return

    store toy"Hey, where can I find the Terminator action figures?"

    "Aisle B, back."

  • Yogurt Aisle

    yogurt greek brands The yogurt aisle is so confusing now: It's all Greek to me.