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Father Illustrations

  • Bring your work to kids day

    We used to celebrate "bring your kid to work day" but thanks to the internet and telecommuting we can now celebrate "bring your work to kids day!"

  • Generation Gap

    computer2I've got 3 TVs, cable and a satellite dish. I have 3 phone lines in the house, a cell phone and one in the car.

    I use 2 computers, 3 ISPs and a fax. I subscribe to two daily papers and one weekly one. I watch both the local and the network news every evening.

    And my kids have the nerve to tell me I'm out of touch.

  • Hammer Laugh

    hammer and thumbOne day a young boy ran crying to his mother and rubbing his behind. His mother said, "Bobby, why are you crying?"

    "Because daddy hit his thumb with the hammer!" little Bobby wailed.

    "Why, that's not something to cry over," his mother told him. "That should make you laugh."

    Bobby rubbed his behind and said tearfully, "I DID laugh!"

  • Job Impressions

    dad daughterI had always talked about my job a lot at home, and my young daughter had always expressed great interest. So I thought it would be a treat for her to spend the day with me at the office. Since I wanted it to be a surprise, I didn't tell her where we were going, just that it would be fun.

    Although usually a bit shy, she seemed excited to meet each colleague I introduced. On the way home, however, she seemed somewhat down.

    "Didn't you have a nice time?" I asked.

    "Well, it was okay," she responded, "but I thought it would be more like a circus."

    Confused, I asked, "Whatever do you mean?"

    She said, "Well, you said you work with a bunch of clowns, and I never got to see them!"

  • Parenting

    baby 6moWhen my wife quit work to take care of our new baby daughter, countless hours of peekaboo and other games slowly took their toll. One evening she smacked her bare toes on the corner of a dresser and, grabbing her foot, sank to the floor.

    I rushed to her side and asked where it hurt.

    She looked at me through tear-filled eyes and managed to moan,

    "It's the piggy that ate roast beef."

  • Parenting, Role Models, Swearing

    class1A little boy was caught swearing by his teacher.

    "Jeffrey," she said, "you shouldn't use that kind of language. Where did you hear that?"

    "My daddy said it," he responded.

    "Well, it doesn't matter," explained the teacher. "You don't even know what it means."

    "I do so!" Jeffrey corrected. "It means the car won't start."

  • Preparing for Parenthood

    baby2Brian and Cathleen took their newborn, Emily, to meet her cousins, Erin and Savannah, in Oklahoma. The cousins were delighted with her and watched everything the adults did with Emily including changing her diapers. The girls were sitting right beside Brian the first time he changed one of Emily's messy diapers.

    When he opened her diaper he said, "Ew! She pooped!"

    Erin looked at him and asked, "Didn't they tell you she would do that?"

  • Raising Children and Bamboo

    bambooDid you know that there is a certain type of bamboo in Japan that only flowers once every 120 years?

    It's certainly puzzling how this plant can keep track of time, but everything 119 years before it germinates will determine how much the bamboo will bloom. And that's a long time to wait to see the results.

    In the same way, children don't always blossom on your timetable. The love, discipline and instruction you pour into their lives cannot be immediately seen. Your job as a parent is to prune and nourish your children in anticipation of their blooming. And once they do, you'll see them grow rapidly into patient, loving and consistent people.

    The latest bloomers often have the most striking and beautiful flowers.

  • Rejected by a Parent?

    Being rejected by a parent is one of the deepest hurts and pains we can experience in life.

    Real life shepherd, Ray Carman, shares about the hope all who have been so rejected have in the care that their Shepherd has for them.

  • Simple Prayer

    "Simple Prayer"

    pray boyMy son Gilbert was eight years old and had been in Cub Scouts only a short time.  During one of his meetings he was handed a sheet of paper, a block of wood and four tires and told to return home and give all to "dad".

    That was not an easy task for Gilbert to do.  Dad was not receptive to doing things with his son.  But Gilbert tried.  Dad read the paper and scoffed at the idea of making a pine wood derby car with his young, eager son.  The block of wood remained untouched as the weeks passed.

  • Top 10 Wrong Ways to Initiate Your Son Into Manhood

    father and sonTop 10 Wrong Ways to Initiate Your Son Into Manhood

    10. Teach him the secret male ritual of leaving the toilet seat up and the toilet paper roll empty.

    9. Have a ceremony where you give him his own remote control.

    8. Lead him through an afternoon of rigorous physical training in the back yard while you sit in a lawn chair with a half-gallon of ice cream.

    7. Eat until you're about to burst and then ride the Screamin' Hurler roller coaster.

  • True Prayer

    child and dadA man had a habit of grumbling at the food his wife placed before him at family meals. Then he would ask the blessing. One day after his usual combination complaint-prayer, his little girl asked, "Daddy, does God hear us when we pray?"

    "Why, of course," he replied. "He hears us every time we pray."

    She thought about this a moment, then asked, "Does he hear what we say when we're not praying too?"

  • Walk a Little Plainer Daddy

    father and son2"Walk a little plainer daddy," said a little boy so frail,

    "I'm following your footsteps and I don't want to fail.

    Sometimes your steps are plain, sometimes they are hard to see;

    So walk a little plainer Daddy, for you are leading me.

    I know that once you walked this way many years ago;