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Bible Puns

  • Bible Pun 2

    bible oldThere was a very gracious lady who was mailing an old family Bible to her brother in another part of the country.

    "Is there anything breakable in here?" asked the postal clerk.

    "Only the Ten Commandments," answered the lady.

  • Coffee Pun 1

    couple coffeeA man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.

    The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."

    The husband said, "Yes, but you are in charge of cooking around here so you should do it because that is your job. I can just wait for my coffee."

    Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should make the coffee."

    Husband replies, "I can't believe that. Show me."

    So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says...

    "Hebrews"

  • Goliath Pun

    knock knock joke"Knock knock."

    "Who's there?"

    "Goliath."

    "Goliath who?"

    "Goliath down, you looketh tired."

  • Old Testament Barista

    teapotHow does Moses make his tea?

    Hebrews it.

  • River Success

    A Bible Pun about Moses and the Nile RiverThe only person I can think of for whom being in denial worked out OK was Moses.

    - Walter McLauren

  • Wearing an Ephod

    ephodIf you see me wearing an ephod, I'm just doing it to be Aaronic.