logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

Bible Puns

  • Bible Pun 2

    bible oldThere was a very gracious lady who was mailing an old family Bible to her brother in another part of the country.

    "Is there anything breakable in here?" asked the postal clerk.

    "Only the Ten Commandments," answered the lady.

  • Coffee Pun 1

    couple coffeeA man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.

    The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."

    The husband said, "Yes, but you are in charge of cooking around here so you should do it because that is your job. I can just wait for my coffee."

    Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should make the coffee."

    Husband replies, "I can't believe that. Show me."

    So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says...

    "Hebrews"

  • Goliath Pun

    knock knock joke"Knock knock."

    "Who's there?"

    "Goliath."

    "Goliath who?"

    "Goliath down, you looketh tired."

  • Old Testament Barista

    teapotHow does Moses make his tea?

    Hebrews it.

  • River Success

    A Bible Pun about Moses and the Nile RiverThe only person I can think of for whom being in denial worked out OK was Moses.

    - Walter McLauren

  • Wearing an Ephod

    ephodIf you see me wearing an ephod, I'm just doing it to be Aaronic.

  • WWJ Drive

    What Would Jesus Drive?Most people assume WWJD is for "What would Jesus do?" But the initials really stand for "What would Jesus drive?"

    One theory is that Jesus would tool around in an old Plymouth because the Bible says, "God drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden in a Fury."  But in Psalm 83, the Almighty clearly owns a Pontiac and a Geo.  The passage urges the Lord to "pursue your enemies with your Tempest and terrify them with your Storm."

    Perhaps God favors Dodge pickup trucks, because Moses' followers are warned not to go up a mountain "until the Ram's horn sounds a long blast." Some scholars insist that Jesus drove a Honda but didn't like to talk about it.
    As proof, they cite a verse in St. John's gospel where Christ tells the crowd, "For I did not speak of my own Accord..."

    Meanwhile, Moses rode an old British motorcycle, as evidenced by a Bible passage declaring that "the roar of Moses' Triumph is heard in the hills."  Joshua drove a Triumph sports car with a hole in its muffler, "Joshua's Triumph was heard throughout the land."

    And, following the Master's lead, the Apostles car pooled in a Honda, "The Apostles were in one Accord."