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Cemetery Illustrations

  • Culture

    rice bowlA young man, while bringing flowers to a cemetery, noticed an old Chinese man placing a bowl of rice on a nearby grave. The young man walked up to the Chinese man and asked, "When do you expect your friend to come up and eat the rice?"

    The old Chinese man replied with a smile, "Same time your friend comes up to smell the flowers."

  • Mail Problems

    cemetaryThanks to Kim Harding for day's real life laugh from her family.

    Dear Pastor Tim,

    This is a true story, My husband's grandmother passed away and for many months afterwards my father-in-law made repeated phone calls to attempt to stop a company from sending mail to the house for his deceased mother.

    In frustration, he finally filled out a change of address card changing her address to the Jefferson Memorial Park where she was laid to rest.

    It worked! No more mailings came to the house.

  • Relativism

    cemetaryAn older woman recently returned from her home town in North Carolina and told a friend they'd spruced up the churchyard cemetery since her last visit several years past. "Lots of new greenery," she said. "And families are together now."

    "All together?" her friend asked, puzzled.

    "Well," the first replied, "years ago they never much worried where they buried someone because everyone was a neighbor anyhow. They'd just dig a grave wherever it seemed to balance things. But they've redone it so people are with their children and grandchildren, instead of scattered."

    The friend was still puzzled. "You mean they exhumed all those people and reburied them?"

    "Oh my, no," was the reply. "We just shifted the headstones. Everyone agrees it looks ever so much nicer."

  • Remembrance

    balloons2The staff at a business office was hosting a farewell luncheon for a retiring colleague. As the group prepared to go to the restaurant, they found that they couldn't fit the giant balloon they had purchased for the retiring 'guest of honor' into the car. Undaunted, they simply held the balloon out the window as they drove.

    The office workers were not prepared for the glares they received from passers-by, however.

    As the long line of traffic in front of their vehicle began to turn, they saw that their car was right behind a long funeral procession.

    There was nothing they could do but hold on to the balloon with its large farewell message: "GONE, BUT NOT FORGOTTEN."