Top Ten Jokes

  • face surprised*Here are some actual answers from contestants who have appeared on the game show Family Feud:*

    Name something a blind person might use: a sword

    Name a song with moon in the title: blue suede moon

    Name a bird with a long neck: a penguin

    Name an occupation where you need a torch: a burglar

  • sleeping at work*Signs That You're Suffering Burnout*

    10.  You're so tired, that you now answer the phone, "Hell."

    9.  Mom calls to ask how you've been, and you immediately scream, "Get off my back!"

    8.  When your parents inquire about your grades, you sing the Cookie Monster song: "C is for cookie, that's good enough for me..."

    7.  You wake up to discover your bed is on fire, but go back to sleep because you just don't care.

  • head phones*Top 10 Songs for People Over 40*

    10. Let's Get a Physical

    9. Ain't No Burrito Mild Enough

    8. Johnny B. Olde

    7. How Do You Mend a Broken Everything

    6. The Lack O' Motion

    5. Hair Potion Number Nine

  • crowd110. Try to pep up the dance recital crowd by starting "the wave."

    9. Do a halftime trampoline show.

    8. With your buddies, spell out your child's name on your chests.

    7. Mimic the conductor.

    6. Start a paper airplane contest with the program.

    5. Clip your toenails.

  • giftTop 10 things to say about a holiday gift you don't like:

    10) Hey! There's a gift.

    9.) Well, well, well...

    8.) Boy, if I had not recently shot up 4 sizes, that would've fit.

    7.) Perfect for wearing in the basement.

  • Top ten dad joke10. Well, how 'bout that? I'm lost! Looks like we'll have to stop and ask for directions.

    9. You know Pumpkin, now that you're thirteen, you'll be ready for unchaperoned car dates. Won't that be fun?

    8. I noticed that all your friends have a certain hostile attitude. I like that.

    7. Here's a credit card and the keys to my new car. GO CRAZY!!

    6. What do you mean you wanna play football? Figure skating is not good enough for you, son?