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Top Ten Jokes

  • Family Feud Answers

    face surprised*Here are some actual answers from contestants who have appeared on the game show Family Feud:*

    Name something a blind person might use: a sword

    Name a song with moon in the title: blue suede moon

    Name a bird with a long neck: a penguin

    Name an occupation where you need a torch: a burglar

  • Signs That You're Suffering Burnout

    sleeping at work*Signs That You're Suffering Burnout*

    10.  You're so tired, that you now answer the phone, "Hell."

    9.  Mom calls to ask how you've been, and you immediately scream, "Get off my back!"

    8.  When your parents inquire about your grades, you sing the Cookie Monster song: "C is for cookie, that's good enough for me..."

    7.  You wake up to discover your bed is on fire, but go back to sleep because you just don't care.

  • Songs For People Over 40

    head phones*Top 10 Songs for People Over 40*

    10. Let's Get a Physical

    9. Ain't No Burrito Mild Enough

    8. Johnny B. Olde

    7. How Do You Mend a Broken Everything

    6. The Lack O' Motion

    5. Hair Potion Number Nine

  • The Top Ten Things Not to Do at Your Child's Performance or Sports Event

    crowd110. Try to pep up the dance recital crowd by starting "the wave."

    9. Do a halftime trampoline show.

    8. With your buddies, spell out your child's name on your chests.

    7. Mimic the conductor.

    6. Start a paper airplane contest with the program.

    5. Clip your toenails.

  • Top 10 Holiday Gift Things To Say

    giftTop 10 things to say about a holiday gift you don't like:

    10) Hey! There's a gift.

    9.) Well, well, well...

    8.) Boy, if I had not recently shot up 4 sizes, that would've fit.

    7.) Perfect for wearing in the basement.

    6.) Wow, I hope this never catches fire!

    5.) If the dog buries it, I'll be furious!

    4.) I Love it, but I fear the jealousy it will inspire.

    3.) Sadly, tomorrow I enter the federal witness protection program.

    2.) To think I got this the year I vowed to give all my gifts to charity.

    1.) I really don't deserve this.