Robert and Peter had applied for jobs at a large company and had to take an intelligence test as part of the application process. Though both of them found the test a breeze, they also both admitted to being momentarily stumped by the final question: "Name a 14 letter word for someone in charge of a plant."

"How did you answer that last one?" asked Robert. "I thought it was tough at first... then I thought of Superintendent."

"I think I got it right too," Pete said. "But I wrote down Horticulturist."

Items Needed:

1. Toothpick
2. Rubber Band
3. Band Aid
4. Pencil
5. Eraser
6. Chewing Gum
7. Mint
8. Candy Kiss
9. Tea Bag

Why???

1) TOOTHPICK - to remind you to pick out the good qualities in others.

2) RUBBER BAND - to remind you to be flexible; things might not always go the way you want, but it will work out.

3) BAND AID - to remind you to heal hurt feelings, yours or someone else's. A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one.

4) PENCIL - to remind you to list your blessings everyday.

5) ERASER - To remind you that everyone makes mistakes and that's OK.

6) CHEWING GUM - to remind you to stick with it and you can accomplish anything.

7) MINT - to remind you that you are worth a mint.

8) CANDY KISS - to remind you that everyone needs a kiss or a hug everyday.

9) TEA BAG - to remind you to relax daily and reflect on all the positive things in your life.

Friends are a very rare jewel, indeed. They make you smile and encourage you to succeed. They lend an ear, share a word of praise and they always open their hearts to us.

Show your friends how much you care.

True story:

A man goes to a party and has too much to drink. His friends plead with him to let them take him home. He says no, he only lives a mile away. About five blocks from the party, the police pull him over for weaving and ask him to get out of the car and walk the line.

Just as he starts, the police radio blares out a notice of a robbery taking place in a house just a block away. The police tell the party animal to stay put, they will be right back and they hop a fence and run down the street to the robbery. The guy waits and waits and finally decides to drive home.

Our house was directly across the street from the clinic entrance of Johns Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore. We lived downstairs and rented the upstairs rooms to outpatients at the clinic.

One summer evening as I was fixing supper, there was a knock at the door. I opened it to see a truly awful looking man. "Why, he's hardly taller than my eight-year-old," I thought as I stared at the stooped, shriveled body. But the appalling thing was his face, lopsided from swelling, red and raw. Yet his voice was pleasant as he said, "Good evening. I've come to see if you've a room for just one night. I came for a treatment this morning from the eastern shore, and there's no bus 'til morning."

Our house was directly across the street from the clinic entrance of Johns Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore. We lived downstairs and rented the upstairs rooms to outpatients at the clinic.

One summer evening as I was fixing supper, there was a knock at the door. I opened it to see a truly awful looking man. "Why he's hardly taller than my eight-year-old," I thought as I stared at the stooped, shriveled body. But the appalling thing was his face, lopsided from swelling, red and raw. Yet his voice was pleasant as he said, "Good evening. I've come to see if you've got a room for just one night. I came for a treatment this morning from the eastern shore, and there's no bus 'til morning."

We cannot all be famous 
or be listed in "Who's Who",
But every person, great or small,
has important work to do.

For seldom do we realize
the importance of small deeds,
Or to what degree of greatness
unnoticed kindness leads.

Once there was couple traveling on a bus in a mountainous area. Close to their destination they decided to get off a bit early and enjoy a short walk the rest of the way.

After the couple got off the bus, it proceeded on its route, but 100 feet later a huge boulder fell on the bus, crushing it and killing everybody on board.

Upon see this happen the couple said, "We wish we were on that bus."

Why do you think they said that?

Think about it and then scroll down for the answer.

Murphy decided it was time to buy a new house, so he decided to sell his old house and put the matter in a real estate agent's hands. The agent wrote up a sales blurb for the house that made wonderful reading.

After Murphy read it, he turned to the agent and asked, "Does my house have everything your ad says it does?"

The agent said, "It certainly does. Why do you ask?"

Murphy replied, "Cancel the sale. It's exactly what I'm looking for."

A student of philosophy was taking his final written exam at his university. The assignment for the 5-hour long exam was to write an essay on the topic, "What is courage?"

The young man sat at his desk and thought for a little while. Finally, he scribbled something on the piece of paper in front of him, got up, and turned in the piece of paper.

All he had written was: "This is."

There was a little mouse in his little hole in the wall. On the one day the mouse really wanted to take a walk, a huge cat was right at his door. The little mouse was really upset that he couldn't leave.

While he was trying to figure out a solution, the mouse heard a dog barking. That's when he had a great thought. He said to himself, "Where there is a dog, there is no cat, and where there is no cat, I can go for my walk."

So he strutted on out of his mouse hole.

All of a sudden the cat grabbed the mouse, chewed him up, and ate him.

Then the cat said, "Wow, it's great to be bilingual!"

A company was hiring new staff. One question in the written application was:

You are driving your car in a wild stormy night. You pass by a bus station, and you see three people waiting for the bus: an old lady who looks as if she is about to die, a doctor who had once saved your life, a man/woman you have been dreaming to be with. You can only take one passenger in your car. Which one will you choose? Please explain your answer.

Think about it before you continue reading.

This must be some kind of personality test. Every answer has its reasoning.

I spent 20 minutes explaining life insurance options to one of our employees.

After reviewing the different plans and monthly deductions, he decided to max out, choosing $100,000 worth of life insurance. But he had one last question.

"Now," he said, "what do I have to do to collect the money?"

A passenger is in a plane enjoying the view of the clouds when a man in a parachute appears at the window. The man says "Would you like to join me?"

The passenger responds with, "No thanks."

The man says, "Suit yourself, I'm the pilot."

A man visited a psychiatrist to talk about his dreams. "Every night," the man said, "I dream that these three hideous monsters are sitting on the edge of my bed, ready to attack me."

"Hmmm," said the doctor. "I feel sure I can cure you of this problem. But the treatment will cost you somewhere between twenty-five and thirty thousand dollars."

"Thirty thousand dollars!" the man gasped. "Never mind getting rid of the monsters, Doctor. I think I'll go home and try to make friends with them!"

I don't do windows because...
I love birds and don't want one to run into a clean window and get hurt.

I don't wax floors because...
I am terrified a guest will slip and get hurt then I'll feel terrible ( plus they may sue me.)

I don't mind the dust bunnies because...
They are very good company; I have named most of them, and they agree with everything I say.

My dog chewed the tongue on one of my new, very expensive running shoes. I hoped to save my investment, so I took the sneakers to a shoe repair shop. I placed them on the counter and told the man, "My dog got hold of this."

The repairman picked up the shoe, looked it over, and placed it back down on the counter.

"Well, what do you recommend?" I asked.

He looked at me and replied, "Give your dog the other shoe."

After four years of separation, my wife and I finally divorced amicably. I wanted to date again, but I had no idea of how to start, so I decided to look in the personals column of the local newspaper. After reading through all the listings, I circled three that seemed possible in terms of age and interest, but I put off calling them.

Two days later, there was a message on my answering machine from my ex-wife. "I came over to your house to borrow some tools today and saw the ads you circled in the paper. Don't call the one in the second column. It's me."

One of our co-workers went missing for a few hours, and we tore up the place looking for him. The boss finally found him fast asleep. Rather than wake him, he quietly placed a note on the man's chest...

"As long as you're asleep," it read, "you have a job. But as soon as you wake up, you're fired!"

The shipwrecked mariner had spent several years on a deserted island.

Then one morning he was thrilled to see a ship offshore and a smaller vessel pulling out toward him.

When the boat grounded on the beach, the officer in charge handed the marooned sailor a bundle of newspapers and told him,

"The captain said to read through these and let us know if you still want to be rescued."

It isn't the thing you do, friend, it's the thing you leave undone,
Which gives you the bitter heartache, at the setting of the sun:
The tender words unspoken, to letter you did not write,
The flowers you might have sent, are your haunting ghosts at night.

Once a king had a great highway built for the members of his kingdom. After it was completed, but before it was opened to the public, the king decided to have a contest. He invited as many as desired to participate. Their challenge was to see who could travel the highway the best.

A guy gets home from work one night and hears a little voice. The little voice tells him, "Quit your job, sell your house, take your money, go to Vegas." The man is disturbed at what he hears and ignores the little voice.

The next day, when he gets home from work, the same thing happens. The little voice tells him, "Quit your job, sell your house, take your money, go to Vegas." Again, the man ignores the little voice, though he is very troubled by the event.

Every day, day after day, the man hears the same little voice when he gets home from work, "Quit your job, sell your house, take your money, go to Vegas." Each time the man hears the little voice he becomes increasingly upset. Finally, after two weeks, he succumbs to the pressure. He does quit his job, sells his house, takes his money and heads to Vegas.

This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application.

You are driving along in your car on a wild, stormy night. You pass by a bus stop, and you see three people waiting for the bus:

1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.
2. An old friend who once saved your life.
3. The perfect man (or woman) you have been dreaming about.

Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing that there could only be one passenger in your car? Think before you continue reading.