Airline Jokes

  • airplane trip from Indianapolis to ChicagoUnaware that Indianapolis is on Eastern Standard Time and Chicago on Central Standard Time, Bob inquired at the Indianapolis airport about a plane to Chicago.

    "The next flight leaves at 1:00 p.m.," a ticket agent said, "and arrives in Chicago at 1:01 p.m."

    "Would you repeat that, please?" Bob asked.

    The agent did so and then inquired, "Do you want a reservation?"

    "No," said Bob, "But I think I'll hang around and watch that thing take off."

  • When luggage goes missing.A student was heading home for the holidays.

    When she got to the airline counter, she presented her ticket to New York and as she gave the agent her luggage she asked,

    "I'd like you to send my green suitcase to Hawaii, and my red suitcase to London."

    The confused agent said, "I'm sorry, we can't to that."

    "Really? I am so relieved to hear you say that because, that's exactly what you did to my luggage last year!"

  • plane passenger windowThe passengers were leaving the plane after landing, and one smiling, satisfied passenger paused to congratulate the flight attendant.

    "Stewardess," he said happily, "I want to compliment you and the crew and especially the captain for getting here right on time. It's not often that an airline gets to where it's going exactly when they claim it will. I'm going to call your home office and let them know how pleased I am."

    "Why, thank you, sir," the flight attendant answered, "but I think you should know--this is yesterday's flight."

  • airplane1A man who sued an airline because his luggage went missing... has lost his case.