College Jokes

  • Daughter In College

    college Mount Union College OhioDid you hear about the banker who was recently arrested for embezzling $100,000 to pay for his daughter's college education?

    As the policeman, who also had a daughter in college, was leading him away in handcuffs, he said to the banker,

    "I have just one question for you. Where were you going to get the rest of the money?"

  • Freshman Bricks

    brick courtyardWhile a friend and I were visiting Annapolis, we noticed several students on their hands and knees assessing the courtyard with pencils and clipboards in hand.

    "What are they doing?" I asked our tour guide.

    "Each year," he replied with a grin, "The upperclassmen ask the freshmen how many bricks it took to finish paving this courtyard."

    When we were out of earshot of the freshmen, my friend asked our guide: "So what's the answer?"

    The guide replied: "One."

  • How Old Am I?

    A professor's questionA college professor asked his class a question.

    "If Philadelphia is 100 miles from New York and Chicago is 1000 miles from Philadelphia and Los Angles is 2000 miles from Chicago, how old am I?"

    One student in the back of the class raised his hand and when called upon said, "Professor you're 44."

    The Professor said, "You're absolutely correct, but tell me, how did you arrive at the answer so quickly?"

    The student said,

    "You see Professor, I have a brother; he's 22, and he's half nuts."

  • Looking Funny

    antique gas pumpsAccording to statistics, last year over 17 million American families paid a lot of money for things that looked funny and didn't work.

    Seven million of these were antiques; the rest were college students.

  • Of Course Not

    footballMorris a young Jewish lad entered Notre Dame to play football. 

    At the end of the season, he returned home. As luck would have it, he ran into his Rabbi at the airport.

    The rabbi asked, "Are they trying to convert you at Notre Dame ?"

    The youngster said, "Of course not, Father!"