In 1900, fathers prayed their children would learn English.
Today, fathers pray their children will speak English.

In 1900, if a father put a roof over his family's head, he was a success.
Today, it takes a roof, deck, pool, and 4-car garage. And that's just the vacation home.

In 1900, a father waited for the doctor to tell him when the baby arrived.
Today, a father must wear a smock, know how to breathe, and make sure there is space on the video camera.

Working as a computer instructor for an adult-education program at a community college, I am keenly aware of the gap in computer knowledge between my younger and older students.

My observations were confirmed the day a new student walked into our library area and glanced at the encyclopedia volumes stacked on a bookshelf.

"What are all these books?" he asked.

Somewhat surprised, I replied that they were encyclopedias.

"Really?" he said. "Someone printed out the whole thing?"

I want to be a kid again. I want to go back to the time when...

* Decisions were made by going "Eeny-meeny-miney-mo."

* Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming, "Do over!"

* "Race issue" meant arguing about who ran the fastest.

Black and White

[An ode to times long gone; for older folks only. Under 40, you just won't understand.]

You could hardly see for all the snow,
Spread the rabbit ears as far as they go.
Pull a chair up to the TV set,
"Good night, David; Good night, Chet".

Dependin' on the channel you tuned
You got Rob and Laura or Ward and June.
It felt so good, felt so right.
Life looked better in black and white.

You know you are living in the 21st century when...

. Your reason for not staying in touch with family is that they do not have e-mail addresses.

. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.

. You call your son's beeper to let him know it's time to eat. He e-mails you back from his bedroom, "What's for dinner?"

. Your daughter sells Girl Scout Cookies via her web site.

. You chat several times a day with a stranger from South Africa, but you haven't spoken with your next door neighbor yet this year.

The shipwrecked mariner had spent several years on a deserted island.

Then one morning he was thrilled to see a ship offshore and a smaller vessel pulling out toward him.

When the boat grounded on the beach, the officer in charge handed the marooned sailor a bundle of newspapers and told him,

"The captain said to read through these and let us know if you still want to be rescued."

In the line at the store today, the cashier told an older woman ahead of me that plastic bags weren't good for the environment. The woman apologized to her and explained, "We didn't have the green thing back in my day."

That's right, they didn't have the green thing in her day. Back then, they returned their milk bottles, Coke bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, using the same bottles over and over. So they really were recycled. But they didn't have the green thing back in her day.