Senior One-liners

  • food cholesteralI personally stay away from health foods. At my age, I need all the preservatives I can get.

    - George Burns

  • old coupleIf I had known how successful I was going to be, I wouldn't have worked so hard when I was young!

  • old man 4I intend to live forever; so far so good.

  • burns and bennyDying is not popular; it has never caught on.

    That's understandable; it's bad for the complexion.

    - George Burns

  • couple oldI want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford; then I'll move in with them.

  • grandma grandkidsIf Mom says "No," ask Nana;

    if Nana says "No,"... who are we kidding?? Nana never says "No!"

  • old ladies on swingSometimes my age is very inappropriate for my behavior.

  • WC FieldsOne Liner Advice: The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

    - W.C. Fields

  • Another "World's Oldest Man" has died.Another World's Oldest Man has died; this is beginning to look suspicious.