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Senior Oneliners

  • Oneliner #1011

    food cholesteralI personally stay away from health foods. At my age, I need all the preservatives I can get.

    - George Burns

  • Oneliner #1038

    old coupleIf I had known how successful I was going to be, I wouldn't have worked so hard when I was young!

  • Oneliner #1079

    old man 4I intend to live forever; so far so good.

  • Oneliner #1113

    burns and bennyDying is not popular; it has never caught on.

    That's understandable; it's bad for the complexion.

    - George Burns

  • Oneliner #1154

    couple oldI want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford; then I'll move in with them.

  • Oneliner #1166

    grandma grandkidsIf Mom says "No," ask Nana;

    if Nana says "No,"... who are we kidding?? Nana never says "No!"

  • Oneliner #1189

    old ladies on swingSometimes my age is very inappropriate for my behavior.

  • Oneliner #1203

    WC FieldsOne Liner Advice: The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

    - W.C. Fields