My favorite childhood memory is not paying bills.
George Burns has some of the best one-liners!
George: Gracie, did the nurse ever happen to drop you on your head when you were a baby?
Gracie: Oh no! We couldn't afford a nurse, my mother had to do it herself.
The best inheritance parents can give their children is a few minutes of their time each day.
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
Children seldom misquote you; in fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.
Camping is nature’s way of feeding mosquitoes.
You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can never fool mom.
Children will soon forget your presents; they will always remember your presence.
When your toddlers are teenagers, don't forget to wake them up at 4:45am to tell them your socks came off.
When I was little, I didn't care about things like what to wear, my parents dressed me; looking back at some of my old pictures, it's obvious that my parents didn't care either.
Children are natural mimics who act like their parents, despite every effort to teach them good manners.
My kids can't find their shoes when they need them, yet they can find that tiny bit of onion in their dinner.
If Mom says "No," ask Nana;
if Nana says "No,"... who are we kidding?? Nana never says "No!"
Anyone who says, "Easy as taking candy from a baby!" has never tried.
That SpongeBob: so self-absorbed.