shoe jokes

  • Discipleship

    military bootsAs a new Ensign, I was assigned duty at the Naval Observatory in Washington, DC, and carpooled to work with a veteran Marine sergeant. One afternoon, I showed him a pair of brown shoes I had purchased to go with my khaki uniform. He examined the leather carefully. "Let me take these home," he said, "and I'll show you a real Marine Corps shine."

    The next day I wore my old shoes, expecting to switch them with the ones the sergeant was polishing. From a grocery bag, Sarge pulled out the right shoe, shining like glass. "This is the way a Marine shines a shoe," he said. "Now all you have to do is polish the left one to look like it."

  • Happy Shoes

    shoes and feetA guy walks into a shoe store and asks for a pair of shoes, size 8.  The obviously well-trained salesman says, "But sir, you take an 11 or eleven-and-a-half." 

    "Just bring me a size eight and I'll explain!" the man replies.

  • Tight Shoes

    picture of men's dress shoesA man walks into a shoe store, and tries on a pair of shoes.

    "How do they feel?" asks the sales clerk.

    "Well... they feel a bit tight." replies the man.

    The assistant promptly bends down and has a look at the shoes and the mans feet.

    "Try pulling out on the tongue." offers the clerk.

    "Nath theyth sthill feelth a bith tighth." He says.