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Bird Puns

  • Bird Calls

    bird smallBird calls for sale. Cheap.

  • Dead Crows

    crowThe Massachusetts Department of Transport found over 200 dead crows on Boston area highways recently and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu. A Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was NOT Avian Flu.

    The cause of death appeared to be from vehicular impacts. However, during analysis it was noted that varying colours of paints appeared on the bird's beaks and claws. By analyzing these paint residues it was found that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with motorbikes, while only 2% were killed by cars.

    The Agency then hired an ornithological behaviorist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of motorbike kills versus car kills. The Ornithological Behaviorist quickly concluded that when crows eat road kill, they always have a look-out crow to warn of danger.

    They discovered that while all the lookout crows could shout "Cah", not a single one could shout "bike"

  • Flamingo Act

    flamingoWhen my wife wanted me to stop acting like a flamingo, I had to put my foot down.

  • Seabird Sausage

    800px Crested Tern Tasmania editNever thought my butcher would turn a sea bird into sausage: but then he took a tern for the wurst.

  • Taking Advice

    flamingoWhen my friends told me to stop impersonating a flamingo I had to put my foot down.