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Husband Puns

  • "I Do" Suggestion

    engagement ringPosition on Proposals: Getting down on one knee can be very engaging.

  • Christmastime Separation

    men model plane“Christmas: That time of year when mother has to separate the men from the toys.”

    - Lee Daniel Quinn

  • Coffee Pun 1

    couple coffeeA man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.

    The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."

    The husband said, "Yes, but you are in charge of cooking around here so you should do it because that is your job. I can just wait for my coffee."

    Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should make the coffee."

    Husband replies, "I can't believe that. Show me."

    So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says...

    "Hebrews"

  • Dr. Benchvorkian

    shoppingBuyer Beware: Shopping malls have benches, so guys can sit while they give up the will to live.

  • Flamingo Act

    flamingoWhen my wife wanted me to stop acting like a flamingo, I had to put my foot down.

  • Furniture Magic

    A funny magician punA magician accidentally turned his wife into a couch and his two kids into armchairs. He started to panic and thought to himself, "What on earth have I done?"

    He began to ponder, "How am I going to bring back my beloved family?" So, he thought for a while and decided a good idea was to take them to a hospital and see if the surgeon could operate and bring them back. He loaded them into his van and off he rushed to the local hospital.

    He walked up and down the hospital hall and after some serious surgery, he asks the doctor, "Doc, how are they?"

    The doctor replied, "Comfortable!"

  • Launch Button

    remote controlJust bought a universal remote control.

    This changes everything.

  • No Bologna

    steakBecoming a vegetarian is a huge "missed steak."

  • Twin Pun

    Twins, Liberty and ElizabethA fellow and his wife in Houston, Texas, where the people are all patriots, were blessed with the birth of twins, two identical girls. These twins were born on the 4th of July, and the father, being patriotic, said to his wife, "We will name them Liberty and Justice, after the pledge of alligence".

    His wife said, "Are you nuts? You can't have girls going through life with names like Liberty and Justice. We are going to name them regular girl's names like Mary or Jane".