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Microsoft Jokes

  • bible personWhat if Biblical characters could be recruited as high-tech promoters?

    Consider the following tech advocates and their ad slogans:

    Noah for Match.com: We can find a mate for anything. Why not you?

    Moses for the Excedrin Headache Resource Center (Excedrin.com):
    Take two tablets and call me in the morning.

    The dove for UPS.com: Guaranteed delivery in 40 days and 40 nights.

  • rifle rangeIt was decided at Microsoft, during a brilliant brainstorming session, that military service would improve the skills and discipline of their finest technician. So off to boot camp he went.

    At the rifle range, he was given some instruction, a rifle, and bullets. He fired several shots at the target.

    The report came from the target area that all attempts had completely missed the target.

  • computer keyboardSigns you aren't very competent with a computer:

    - You've backed-up your desktop by pushing it against the wall.

    - You've put foam around the computer to prevent it from crashing.

    - The soles of your shoes are worn out from re-booting your computer.

    - You try to clear the screen by shaking the monitor up and down.

    - You're Amish.

  • computer stress(This joke applies to a time long ago, but just go with it. Some things never change!)

    After experiencing difficulties with his computer, a poor, in-cognizant user called the system maker's technical support line for assistance...

    Technician: Hello.  How can I help you today?

    Customer: There's smoke coming from the power supply on my computer...

  • milk2I'm sure you've heard the old story referring to optimism and pessimism that is determined by whether you think the glass is half-empty or half-full. Here are the reactions when somebody leaves a half glass of milk next to the keyboard.

    Optimist:
    The glass is half full.

    Pessimist:
    The glass is half empty.

    Apple Computer:
    You guys really oughta be drinking Perrier.