Math One-liners

  • Math Coffee

    coffee cupWhen a mathematician tells you he makes a mean cup of coffee, he means average.

  • Musings

    woman3* A bus station is where a bus stops.
    A train station is where a train stops.
    My desk is my work station...

    * I believe five out of four people have trouble with fractions.

    * If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what genius came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?

    * Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

    * What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

    * I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me . . . they were cramming for their finals.

    * Employment application blanks always ask who is to be notified in case of an emergency.
    I think you should write . . . A Very Good Doctor.

  • Oneliner #1004

    monkPiety: you had me at pie.

  • Oneliner #1070

    dice and paperStatistics show that statistics can't be trusted.

  • Oneliner #1095

    math4 out of 3 people struggle with math.

  • Oneliner #1115

    math42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

  • Oneliner #1218

    mathIf I had a dollar for every time I've used algebra in my adult life, I'd have "n" dollars.