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Math One-liners

  • coffee cupWhen a mathematician tells you he makes a mean cup of coffee, he means average.

  • woman3* A bus station is where a bus stops.
    A train station is where a train stops.
    My desk is my work station...

    * I believe five out of four people have trouble with fractions.

    * If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what genius came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?

    * Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

    * What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

    * I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me . . . they were cramming for their finals.

    * Employment application blanks always ask who is to be notified in case of an emergency.
    I think you should write . . . A Very Good Doctor.

  • speed of dark one-linerOK, so what's the speed of dark?

  • monkPiety: you had me at pie.

  • dice and paperStatistics show that statistics can't be trusted.

  • math4 out of 3 people struggle with math.

  • math42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

  • mathIf I had a dollar for every time I've used algebra in my adult life, I'd have "n" dollars.