I once had a goldfish that could break-dance on carpet, but only for like 20 seconds.
"Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail." - Unknown
Sixty percent of pit bull attacks occur between tying the bandanna around its neck and putting the sunglasses on its face.
"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful."
- Ann Landers
"You enter into a certain amount of madness when you marry a person with pets."
- Nora Ephron
"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face."
- Ben Williams
"A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down."
- Robert Benchley
"In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him."
- Dereke Bruce, Taipei, Taiwan
"I loathe people who keep dogs; they are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves."
- August Strindberg
They should make an alarm clock that sounds like a cat getting ready to vomit; NOTHING makes you jump out of bed faster!
As I watched the dog chasing his tail, I thought, "Dogs are easily amused;" then I realized I was watching the dog chase his tail.
Cat's motto: No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it.
"Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives."
- Sue Murphy
"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
- Robert A. Heinlein
"When your children are teenagers, it's important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you."
They should make an alarm clock that sounds like a dog ready to vomit; nothing makes me jump out of bed faster...
"No animal should ever jump up on the dining room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation."
- Fran Lebowitz