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Heaven Illustrations

  • Arrest at the Gate

    watch faceSt. Peter becomes aware of a man standing outside the Gates of Heaven, pacing up and down. "Excuse me, can I help you?" he asks.

    "No, it's all right. It won't be long" and he distractedly looks at his watch, shrugs and paces on. 

    St. Peter gives it another 5 minutes and asks again. 

    The man stops and says, "Look, you know I'm dead. I know I'm dead. Will someone please tell the cardiac arrest team?"

  • Directions to Our Father's House

    *Directions to Our Father's House*

    map coupleMake a Right onto "Believing Blvd."

    Keep straight and go through the Green Light, which is Jesus Christ.

    From there, you must turn onto the "Bridge of Faith," which is over troubled water.

  • Mail Problems

    cemetaryThanks to Kim Harding for day's real life laugh from her family.

    Dear Pastor Tim,

    This is a true story, My husband's grandmother passed away and for many months afterwards my father-in-law made repeated phone calls to attempt to stop a company from sending mail to the house for his deceased mother.

    In frustration, he finally filled out a change of address card changing her address to the Jefferson Memorial Park where she was laid to rest.

    It worked! No more mailings came to the house.

  • The Risk of Innocence

    The Risk of InnocenceTiny, helpless
    swaddled in hay
    washed, clothed, fed
    carried each day.

    Poverty, heat
    occupied land
    Romans, cruel Herod
    Palestine sand.