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Health Care Illustrations

  • Church Attendance, Religion vs. Relationship

    doctor4Strangely enough, this is all true.

    I had heart bypass surgery. For recovery, they have you do an exercise program. So I go to the doctor and he asks if I have been exercising. I reply, "Yes. Religiously."

    "How is it going?"

    "Well, at first it was kind of tiring doing all that once a week..."

    "Once a week?"

    "Yeah, you know, religiously. Just like church. Every seven days."

  • Health Priorities

    senior citizenTwo patients limp into two different medical clinics with the same complaint. Both have trouble walking and appear to require a hip replacement. The first patient is examined within the hour, is x-rayed the same day and has a time booked for surgery the following week.

    The second sees her family doctor after waiting a week for an appointment, then waits eighteen weeks to see a specialist, then gets an x-ray, which isn't reviewed for another month and finally has her surgery scheduled for a year from then.

    Why the different treatment for the two patients?

    The first is a golden retriever; the second is a senior citizen.

  • Hospital Complaints

    hospital roomGrandma Jones from the valley had never experienced a sick day in her life, so she didn't take it kindly when a bad case of the mulligrubs sent her to the hospital for observation.

    By the time a pair of husky interns got Grandma tucked into bed, she had managed to complain about everything: the temperature, the lights, the skimpy gown, the food and the mattress, especially, the mattress.

    Suddenly, Grandma spotted a small plastic item with a button, attached to a cord. "What's that?" she demanded.

  • Poor Health

    doctor fileI sat there waiting for my new doctor to make his way through the file that contained my very extensive medical history.

    After he finished all seventeen pages, he looked at me and said, "You look better in person than you do on paper."