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Health Care Illustrations

  • doctor4Strangely enough, this is all true.

    I had heart bypass surgery. For recovery, they have you do an exercise program. So I go to the doctor and he asks if I have been exercising. I reply, "Yes. Religiously."

    "How is it going?"

    "Well, at first it was kind of tiring doing all that once a week..."

    "Once a week?"

    "Yeah, you know, religiously. Just like church. Every seven days."

  • senior citizenTwo patients limp into two different medical clinics with the same complaint. Both have trouble walking and appear to require a hip replacement. The first patient is examined within the hour, is x-rayed the same day and has a time booked for surgery the following week.

    The second sees her family doctor after waiting a week for an appointment, then waits eighteen weeks to see a specialist, then gets an x-ray, which isn't reviewed for another month and finally has her surgery scheduled for a year from then.

    Why the different treatment for the two patients?

    The first is a golden retriever; the second is a senior citizen.

  • hospital roomGrandma Jones from the valley had never experienced a sick day in her life, so she didn't take it kindly when a bad case of the mulligrubs sent her to the hospital for observation.

    By the time a pair of husky interns got Grandma tucked into bed, she had managed to complain about everything: the temperature, the lights, the skimpy gown, the food and the mattress, especially, the mattress.

    Suddenly, Grandma spotted a small plastic item with a button, attached to a cord. "What's that?" she demanded.

  • doctor fileI sat there waiting for my new doctor to make his way through the file that contained my very extensive medical history.

    After he finished all seventeen pages, he looked at me and said, "You look better in person than you do on paper."

  • cemetaryIn a small town in America, there was a Doctor Brackett. He was known as the poor man's friend because he spent hours at the bedside of unfortunates and never ever took a fee from them. He lived in two upstairs rooms over a grocery store. At the foot of the stairs going to his quarters was a painted sign which said: DOC BRACKETT - OFFICE UPSTAIRS.

    He even lost his girlfriend, whom he wanted to marry, because, he spent more time with the sick than with her. He spent a life of selfless dedication to any and every person around him. When he died, his funeral was the biggest ever seen in that town.

    At a meeting afterwards, the townspeople tried to figure out what kind of monument to erect to the memory of the doctor. A couple who had been especially helped by the doctor, on their way home from the meeting, removed the sign from his door and the following day it appeared over his grave.

    It read: DOC BRACKETT - OFFICE UPSTAIRS.