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Technology Oneliner

  • Oneliner #1075

    phone helpCaller ID should be more detailed: "Wants Help Moving," "Going to Whine," "Will Ask to Borrow Money."

  • Oneliner #1077

    cell phoneI don't own a cell phone or a pager; I just hang around everyone I know, all the time and if someone wants to get hold of me, they just say 'Mitch,' and I say 'what?' and turn my head slightly.

    - Mitch Hedberg

  • Oneliner #1141

    cookingBillion dollar idea: a smoke detector that shuts off when you yell, "I'm just cooking!"

  • Oneliner #1156

    computer stressI hate making spelling errors on Facebook; mix up two letters and your whole post is urined.

  • Oneliner #1161

    cell phoneAuto-correct can be so flippant annotating.

  • Oneliner #1162

    coffee manI saw a guy today at Starbucks. He had no smartphone, tablet or laptop; he just sat there drinking his coffee... like a psychopath.

  • Oneliner #1173

    keys and remoteThe only time I hit the panic button on my car keys is accidentally, and the only person who panics is me!

  • Oneliner #1182

    cell phoneAuto-correct makes me say things I didn't Nintendo.

  • Quote #1632

    quote 1632

    Imagine if trees gave off WiFi signals, we would be planting so many trees and we'd probably save the planet too. Too bad they only produce the oxygen we breathe.

    - Unknown